


Death Valley

by Lacey (desertsongbird)



Series: Desert Children [2]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Desert, F/M, Post-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 17:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 27,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12730779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desertsongbird/pseuds/Lacey
Summary: (Danger Days)- The second story in the Desert Children series. Phoenix and Ghoul are starcrossed, never meant to last. Can they survive as Better Living Industries hunts them down?





	1. Prologue

The top members of the S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W sat at the long, glass table waiting for their leader to speak. The woman of Japanese descent sat at the head of the table, her dark eyes watching them like a hawk. She wasn’t wearing her usual smile with her whitened teeth brightening the room. She had different business to discuss.

“I believe we all remember the greatest riot we’ve had since the wars of 2013.” She spoke louder than she had to. “And the cause.” 

They all nodded in unison without saying a word. She pulled up images of the famous killjoys on a screen behind her. Most were distorted, having been taken with surveillance cameras. The group knew the faces well. 

“This group is on the most wanted list. Our main reason being that we wanted to question them. Their recent attacks on our city have brought us to the conclusion that they are on the Extermination list. They will not be taken in. At the same time, I would not like you to try and search them out. They will not be provoked. Once you see them, you must exterminate. We will not risk having our city torn down by rebels.”

 All of the S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W but one nodded. That one got up from the table. All heads turned to him. He left the room without a word. He was leaving the city. Escaping this world of perfection. He was awake.


	2. Fade in the Dark

The cold night drifted in like fog, bringing the SCARECROW into the zones on their nightly watch. Ghoul and I huddled together, pulling the blankets tightly around us. Our soft breaths were the only sounds in the black room. Ghoul’s arms tightened around me as he jumped from a dream. He shifted and I held him closer.

Just as I began to get comfortable, something pulled me from his arms. I flailed and tried to hit the arms gripping me. A screams came from my throat like birds set free from their cage. I tried to feel for Ghoul but my hands gripped darkness. I felt suffocated by the thick air.

“Phoenix!”

Another scream brought me back to the present. Ghoul had turned on the lamp on the bedside table, letting light embrace us both. Shadows danced in the corners of the room. I was safe, but I still felt that heaviness in my chest. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed. I couldn’t shake the dreams that haunted me in the night.

Ghoul reached for me and comforted me. His quiet reassurance was enough to stop the tears.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“They came for me again.” I whispered.

The rest of the group had given up coming to check on us both. I had had nightmares since the riot. I woke up screaming each time, thrashing at the imaginary monsters. I felt bad for waking Ghoul up in the middle of the night. It wasn’t like I could stay up like he could. My body told me it was time to sleep so I did.

“You’re safe.” He said, stroking my hair. “C’mon lay down with me.”

Ghoul turned off the light next to us and held me close. He hummed softly in my ear any tune that he could remember. My shaking slowed to a gradual hault.

And then I was blinded. I tried to block the light with my hand and see beyond it. I was standing in an empty space. A figure had begun walking towards me. I didn’t feel fear. Just warmth as if I was being embraced. Like laying in the sunlight. I continued towards this figure. My mother stood before me, looking alive and well.

“Mom?”

“Adelaide.”

She embraced me. I wrapped my arms around her and began to cry.

“You’re so beautiful.” She told me, holding me at arms length. “Who is this young man you’re with? He’s handsome. Is he treating you well?”

I laughed with tears of joy in my eyes. “I love him, mom. I love him a lot. I wish you were here.”

“Addie, you have to set us free.” She whispered.

“What?”

“Our souls are trapped in the desert. Set us free, darling. So we can move on.” She took my face in her hands.

“How? Set you free how?”

She was fading before my eyes. But I knew her last words. They rang clear through my head.

“Destroy the city.”


	3. Back in Her Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff.

I picked up the gun and fired at another masked face. He tumbled to the ground, looking like a sack of potatoes. I forgot that we were both of the same kind. Both made of the same material. Just bones under a whole lot of skin. A beating heart stopping. Another soul fading into the desert.

But after our fight is done, I looked around at the bodies and I didn't know how I could have done this. I am no better than them. I'm nothing.

A felt a hand on my shoulder. Ghoul was waiting for me to get back in the car with him and the others. The feeling of guilt still lingered in my mind. I wanted to tell Ghoul how I felt. But I knew now wasn't the time. I had to get back in the car and go to a place where I had to smile and pretend I wasn't a murderer. Pretend this wasn't me.

I sat with an empty feeling inside of me. The volume on the radio was loud. The station wasn't coming in so well, but the others sang along loudly with the sounds of Def Leppard. Ghoul grinned at me and I forced a smile back. He put his arm around me and held me close.

Maybe I'm just weak.

I was probably the only one not having fun. Even with the warmth of alcohol in my system, I couldn’t shake the feeling of regret and guilt in my mind. I was feeling excessive remorse. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. The bastards killed my mother.

“What’s wrong, sunshine?” Ghoul asked.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” I said, faking a smile.

Ghoul leaned in closer. “Seriously, Phoenix.”

“I’ll tell you later, okay?”

I didn’t want him worrying about me. He had enough to worry about already.

Near us, a drunk Kobra stood up on a table and started singing, “My anaconda don’t!”

Ghoul shook his head. “Not again.”

Kobra always found an opportunity to stand up on a table and make elaborate speeches or start a sing along. It was funny how a drink or two could change his attitude completely. I always knew of him as an angry son of a bitch who hated everyone.

In the corner of my eye I could see Rocket watching from afar. She was giggling. When she locked eyes with Kobra, she looked away shyly. Someone was crushing.

Ghoul grabbed my arm.

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” He told me.

“But… Kobra?” I asked.

Ghoul sighed. “He’s Poison’s brother. Poison will take care of him.”

I was introduced to a set of Japanese twins and a tall boy. The twins were known as Electric Heart and Diamond Venom. They were wearing matching outfits and impossible to tell apart. It looked like they had never left their scene phase. Their black hair reached their waists with pink streaks and fringed bangs. The tall boy went by Neon Pop. I could see where he got his name from. He wore a neon pink jacket. His spiked, black hair was filled with colors. If the city of Tokyo was a person, it would be him. The group all had blindingly white teeth.

The two girls ‘awwwed’ when Ghoul and I held hands. It was as if they had never seen two people hold hands before. Neon looked at us both apologetically when the two twins began asking us questions.

“Where did you two meet?”

“Where was your first kiss?”

“Who asked who out?”

“I want to know.”

“We want to know.”

I looked up at Ghoul before answering. “He saved me. I was stranded in the desert and he found me. We decided we both really liked each other at a party.”

“Actually,” Ghoul spoke up. “I liked you since the first day I met you.”

The twins ‘awwwed’ some more.

Rocket piped up from behind Ghoul and I. “And they’re engaged.”

I turned around to give Rocket a confused look. “How do you know?”

“Well, there’s a big ass ring on your finger.” Rocket laughed.

“When’s the wedding?” Electric Heart asked.

“We haven’t planned it yet.” Ghoul answered.

“Please invite us when you do make invitations. You two are the cutest.” Diamond Venom said.

Rocket was getting impatient. “Ghoul, I need to steal Phoenix.”

Before he could respond, she grabbed me and pulled me away from the group. I followed her into an uninhabited corner.

“Phoenix, what’s the difference between me and you?” Rocket asked me.

“Uhhh…” I looked at her, confused. “There’s a lot of things.”

“Here, I’ll give you a hint.” Rocket made a large gesture at herself and then at me.

I looked down at my chest. “Is it really that bad?”

“Ugh no not that. You need a makeover. Seriously. You look like Ghoul dressed you.”

“But I guess he kinda did.”

Rocket laughed. “That explains a lot.”

“Fine. Come over after the party. Be there or be square.” I crossed my arms over my chest.


	4. Open Wound

I didn't think Rocket was actually going to show up. I was sitting in my room, watching Ghoul tinker with my gun. The both of us had decided it would be cool to paint it. It would make me look more like a Killjoy and less like a runaway. We giggled and made stupid jokes as he worked. We took sips from a wine bottle.

"So what was wrong earlier?" He asked me.

I hoped he had forgotten. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Phoenix, don't lie to me." Ghoul put down my gun and turned to me.

"I just..." I didn't know how to explain myself. "I feel guilty. For killing Dracs. But how could I even feel that? They hurt us. But they're people, you know? Humans. We all are."

Ghoul sighed. "I know what you're feeling. There are some things I should have told you but I thought you would think differently of me."

"You can tell me anything, Ghoul. I love you." I took his hands in mine.

"I killed innocent people in the wars. I obeyed the system and this is what happens when you do that. I trusted them. But then I found out that the people we were bombing were only rumored to be traitors." He admitted. "They were people trying to survive, like us."

I wasn't sure what to say to him. What had been said to me was true. Poison was right. I wanted to help Ghoul but I felt like nothing I could say would help. It hurt me to know he was keeping this inside himself. I wanted to take the pain away. But at the same time, he had killed people that maybe didn't deserve to die. I wanted to understand more.

He honestly didn't look like he wanted to talk anymore. His head hung low and he looked down at our hands. He clenched his jaw. 

"I will always love you, Ghoul." I said quietly. "If you want to talk about it more, I'm here. Because I love you, I will take you with your baggage and all. You didn't know any better. You trusted this system that was supposed to keep you safe."

He looked up at me as if he was about to speak, but stopped himself. Ghoul looked down again. I saw anger in his eyes and I wasn't sure what to say. 

There was a quick knock on the door and it swung open. Rocket stood there grinning.

"I told you I'd be here. I'm not a square. I'm quite triangular." She said. "Did I interrupt anything?"

"Well..." I started. "Ghoul and were kinda having a-"

"Great!" Rocket cut me off, winked and grabbed my arm. "Glad I didn't intrude!"

I looked back at Ghoul who was sitting at his desk still. He had gone back to working on my gun and didn't look at me as I left. I felt as if he was angry at me even though I knew he had no reason to be angry.

Rocket took hold of my arm and dragged me to her guest room. In the room, a bag sat on the bed. She opened the bag. It was filled with different clothes and supplies. She pulled out a disposable razor and handed it to me.

"Get in the shower and shave." She demanded.

"Uhhh..." I wasn't sure what to say. "Why?"

"Don't make me shave your head." Rocket threatened. "You know damn well why. Don't miss a spot."

"What am I shaving?" I asked.

Her eyes went wide. "Everything."

I did as she said, going slow to make sure I didn't accidentally cut my ankles. I hadn't shaved in a long time. I was afraid the blade was going to be too dull to get the other areas. I was kind of embarrassed of my hairy body. Once my body was completely smooth, I stepped out of the shower. I stood awkwardly naked in the bathroom with no towels. Rocket opened the door and I tried to cover up my body with my hands.

"Dude, we're both females; you're fine." She said. "Hey, you have a cute body anyway."

I could feel my face turning red. She threw a towel at me. I quickly wrapped it around my body, shivering.

"How am I cute? I have no boobs." I asked.

Rocket laughed. "No boobs are cute too. All boobs are cute. Boobs are great."

I made a face at her. She laughed. She attempted to put makeup on my face, but I flailed my arms. Rocket tried to fight me but I pushed her away. 

"No way. Gross." I complained. "Plus I'm still naked."

Rocket sighed. "Ninny. Fine."

"What the hell is a ninny?" I asked.

"A foolish person." Rocket smirked. "Pretty much sums up a loser."

"I am not a ninny." I whined.

She threw something black at me. "Is this in your size? I had to guess."

I looked at the black lingerie in my hands.

"What the hell is this?" I asked.

Rocket wagged her eyebrows at me. "You and Ghoul. Guys like this stuff."

Before I could defend myself, Rocket winked and closed the bathroom door. I decided I would just put it on and make her happy so I could take it off. I knew she really just wanted to live through me. I wasn't good at impressing guys. I had never tried to in the first place. 

I slipped on the lingerie that was a tad bit too big. I looked in the mirror at what had become of me. A tan, skinny girl looked back in black lingerie. My cheeks turned red from embarrassment. I looked... I looked...

"Are you done yet?" Rocket was banging on the bathroom door.

"I look like a ho." I responded.

"Get out here and let me see you." She yelled.

"Nooo." I whimpered.

I heard Rocket sigh. "Please, Phoenix?"

I frowned at my reflection and opened the door a crack. Rocket pushed her hand through and whipped open the door. I wasn't strong enough to hold her back. I squeezed my eyes shut so I didn't have to see her reaction.

"Phoenix, you are a major hottie!" She exclaimed. "You could be a fucking Victoria's Secret model!"

"Can I take this off now?" I begged. "My boobs barely fill in the bra. It looks like it's practically hanging off of me."

"No. It's time to go show Ghoul." Rocket replied.

"NO." I said, my eyes going wide.

"Dude, when Ghoul sees you you'll be getting more than just a compliment." She winked at me. "Guys love when girls dress up like this."

I wrapped my towel around me as I walked into the hall and back to my room. I had it covering most of me, including my head.

"Stop that!" Rocket hissed. "You look like a poor, old lady."

"How do I walk in?" I asked, approaching the door to our room where I knew Ghoul was working.

"Pose." She said and demonstrated.

"How the hell do you know all of this?" I asked. "Who did you lose your virginity to, a male stripper?"

"That's a conversation for later times." She replied and pushed me through the door.

I stumbled in awkwardly. Ghoul turned from where he was sitting at his desk and I stood with my towel around me. This was the weirdest experience I had been through so far.

"Uhh...hi." I said.

The door closed behind me and I dropped the towel I was wearing. I knew the look on my face probably would overpower what I was wearing, and not in a good way.

Ghoul smirked and got up from where he was sitting. Rocket was right. I could see his body language changing. But my face was still wrinkled into an uncomfortable expression.

"Rocket?" He asked.

"Rocket." I confirmed.

He put his hands on my waist, pulling me closer. We locked lips. He slipped his tongue between my lips. We shuffled towards the bed, not wanting to leave each other's arms. We fell rather gracefully on the bed, moving up towards the pillows. I felt safe with him on top of me.

He pulled off his shirt quickly, almost getting stuck with the arm holes. I tangled my hands in his hair and pulled his face back down to mine. We made out passionately. I ran my hands over the tattoos on his back and chest. Ghoul unhooked my bra in a smooth motion and threw it behind him.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered in my ear before pinning my hands above my head.

"I disagree but thank you." I replied and laughed

His lips were trailing down my neck and my collarbones. He was gentle, making sure that I was comfortable with every move he made. Our love was passionate and ended with us cuddling. He tried to find where he could tickle me and I nearly punched him in the face as I flailed around. I traced his tattoos on his arms. He watched me with a smile on his face.

"You should get one." Ghoul said.

"Get what?" I asked.

"A tattoo." He responded.

I laughed. "No way. I hate needles. What would I get anyway?"

"A phoenix?" He shrugged. "I mean, it is your name."

"Why did you name me Phoenix?" I asked him.

Ghoul smiled. "Because you're smokin' hot."

"Seriously, buttface." I said, my face turning red. "I'm curious."

Ghoul pouted. "I am not a buttface. And I named you Phoenix because your story totally sounds like the legend."

"Tell me the story again. It's been awhile since I've heard it."

Ghoul refreshed my memory with the story.

"So according to the myth, the sun looked down on this bird with beautiful feathers and told it that because it was so beautiful, it would be the sun's bird and live forever. The bird was really excited about this. But people got really jealous, so they tried to trap it. The bird didn't want to live that way anymore, so it flew away to a different place in the east. It was a hidden desert. After five hundred years, the bird was alive but really old. So it cried out to the sun and begged to be young again. The sun didn't hear it, though. So the bird returned to it's homeland. On the way, it collected all kinds of offerings for the sun. Finally the sun heard its cry. The bird burst into flames. All that was left were ashes. But then the bird came up from the ashes again, strong. Every five hundred years, the bird bursts into flames again."

"I ran away from 'home' too." I said. "Because I felt like people were trying to trap me."

"You're free now." Ghoul replied and stroked my hair. "You're safe."

I was getting sleepy. I could feel my eyelids getting heavier.

"I wonder what happened to Rocket." I said.

Ghoul shrugged. "Probably has her ear against the door."

I laughed, sleeping pulling me down into the land of dreams.

That night I didn't dream. I was sucked into a deep sleep that I couldn't seem to shake off. I was awakened by Ghoul getting out of bed, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. I hadn't slept so well in my whole life. When I finally woke up, I was in bed alone. I looked around to find the time. It was 12:04 pm. I had slept for hours on end.

"Shit." I muttered.

I got up and stumbled into the shower. I quickly washed my hair under freezing water. I almost slipped when I got out of the bathtub. I thought I had escaped fate when I wrapped a bath towel around myself, but I slipped on the bathroom floor. My arm collided with the counter when I caught myself. Looking at it, I could see it was already starting to bruise. I frowned at it.

I pointed at my arm as if it was a person. "Get your shit together."

Ghoul peered into the bathroom. "Phoenix, who are you talking to?"

"Shit. I'm sorry. I was talking to myself. I'm so sorry I slept in. I didn't mean to."

Ghoul laughed. "Don't be sorry. It's Saturday."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked.

"You were sleeping really well. I didn't want to bother you. Plus I think you'll need the sleep for later today." He put an arm around me and smiled.

"Why? What's going on?" I asked.

Ghoul grinned. "We are announcing our engagement."

My eyes went wide. I was scared of what Kobra would say. He worried me more than all of the others combined. I knew Rocket couldn't care less. Actually, she was excited. Or at least I thought so. She was my first choice for a Maid of Honor. I had no one else. She would definitely be up to the task. The thoughts of the future wedding gave me butterflies. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be a bride. I never thought it would happen to me.

After I had gotten dressed, Ghoul led me into the sitting room. He had gotten the others all together. They were eager to hear why they had to gather around. I sat down on the loveseat with Ghoul.

"We have something to announce." Ghoul said.

We were all sitting in the living room. I sat next to Ghoul on the loveseat, holding his hand. He squeezed my hand lightly.

Kobra threw his arms in the air. "Please don't tell me you got her pregnant."

"We are getting engaged." Ghoul replied matter of factly.

The whole room went silent. You could almost hear a Drac drop in Zone 1. Everyone in the room was shocked. All of the sudden, Rocket jumped up with a grin on her face. She fist pumped the air.

"My OTP!" She yelled.

"You're doing what?!" Jet asked. "You've known each other for like a year."

Poison sat there with his head in his hands like a disappointed father. Kobra didn't even know what to say. Jet couldn't stop stumbling over his words. The whole room was filled with mixed emotions. Ghoul and I just sat there on the couch watching the aftermath of our announcement unfold. Kobra got up from his seat on the couch and left the room, shaking his head.

"I guess we just leave now." Ghoul said.

Ghoul got up to leave and I followed. Poison stopped me on the way out of the room.

"You know this is a big mistake, right?" He asked in a low tone.

I ignored him.

He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back.

"Ghoul is a ticking time bomb. One day he's going to blow up and you don't want to be there when he does."

I made a face at him before shaking him off and leaving.  
  
  
  


"You're gonna be such a beautiful bride!" Rocket exclaimed.

We were sitting on her bed in her little room. I laughed at her over excitement.

"Lemme see the ring!" She took my hand in hers to inspect it. "It's so gorgeous. Where did he get it?"

"He saved up for months for it. It's antique." I responded.

"Months!?" She squealed. "Tell me how you met."

"Uhh," I began. "I was stranded in the desert for several days and the killjoys found me. The others were skeptical but Ghoul welcomed me with open arms. He took me in and gave me food, water, and clothes. I slept in his room and we became best friends."

Rocket hugged herself and squealed some more like an excited anime character. "Who asked who out?"

"I told him I kinda liked him and then he kissed me at a party." I replied.

Rocket threw her arms around me and hugged me. "So cute."

"Why are you so excited?" I asked her.

"Because it gives me hope that one day I will find true love too." She replied and smiled at me.

"Do you like anyone?" I asked.

She blushed bright red. "Well... I think Kobra is really cute. But he has a really bad temper."

I sighed. "You're right. But you should just try talking to him."

Rocket's eyes went wide. "Talking to him?"

"Yeah. Just say hi."

She looked frightened. "What do I say? What if he ignores me? What if he yells at me?"

"Just give it a try." I responded. "How about a joke? Do you know any jokes?"

"No."

"How much does a polar bear weigh?" I asked

"Uhhh... I don't know?" Rocket said, confused.

"Enough to break the ice." I responded with a smile.

She laughed. "I'll tell him that."

Rocket flopped down on her bed. "There's a huge difference between our ages. He could be like my sugar daddy."

Rocket whimpered. "I think Kobra is twenty six, right?"

I nodded in reply. "It's not a big deal though. Ghoul is eight years older than me."

Rocket's eyes went wide again. "Eight years?! How does that work?"

"I don't really think about it." I replied. "Lots of old people are married and way older than each other."

"I haven't even dated anyone before. Well I have, but I haven't had an actual normal relationship." Rocket said.

We were quiet for awhile until she broke the silence.

"Hey Phoenix?" She asked me.

"Yeah?"

"What's it like to have sex?" She asked.

"Uhh... it's nice I guess." I replied.

"Does it... hurt?" She looked nervous.

"A little bit at first." I remembered our past discussion. "Wait, you haven't lost your virginity yet?"

Rocket shuddered. "No. Boys scare me."

I laughed. There was a knock on the door to her room. We both turned to see Cola peeking in.

"Hey, I better get you home before Ghoul thinks we kidnapped you." Cola said before closing the door.

Before I got up, Rocket threw her arms around me and hugged me. I hugged her back.

"You really are going to be a beautiful bride." She said.


	5. Fall Out of Grace

I got into Cola's car and we started the drive back to the inn. We didn't talk up until the time he stopped in front of the inn. Ghoul was standing in front of the inn waiting for me. He smiled.

"You know I really like you, right?" Cola pulled me out of my thoughts.

I looked at him, confused. Cola grabbed my face in his hands and pressed his lips against mine. I pushed him off of me.

"What the hell are you thinking?" I asked him.

"Phoenix, I-"

I climbed out of the car and shut the car door in his face. Ghoul's smile had turned into a frown. He had seen Cola kiss me. I was so embarrassed.

"When were you going to tell me, huh?" Ghoul asked.

"Ghoul, I can explain. He grabbed me and kissed me." I responded.

"I fucking trusted you! I thought you were different." He said.

"Ghoul!" Tears began to stream down my face. "Are you even hearing yourself?"

"I feel so stupid." He threw his hands up in the air.

I couldn't string words together. I was sobbing loudly, tears blurring my vision. His words stung like venom.

"I can't do this. I can't be with you right now." Ghoul didn't look at me when he said it.

He left me standing in the dust as he went inside.

I sat on the roof of the inn, trying to collect my thoughts. It was the quietest place I could find. I held a pencil and a pad of paper, trying to write a letter to Ghoul. I didn't know where I was going to go. I guessed I could go live with Rocket for awhile. That thought helped me write the letter to Ghoul but didn't stop me from being so confused. How could things suddenly end up here?

 

_Ghoul,_

_I'm sorry. I love you so much and I never meant to hurt you. I would never cheat on you because you mean so much to me. But if you really don't want me anymore, I'll just leave. I'm sorry. I feel like this is all so stupid and you'll get over yourself soon._

 

_Phoenix_

 

I left the note on my side of the bed with my ring. I knew he was inside the weapons room working to get his mind off of it all. He wouldn't notice me leaving. I decided I could get my stuff later when I was ready. I snuck out to the small, broken garage where the Trans Am sat hidden. The extra keys were sitting right where they should be. I picked up the radio and tuned in to Dr. D. I told him through sobs that I needed someone to come and get me.

Show Pony didn't ask any questions when he picked me up in his car. He drove me straight to Dr. D's hideout. Rocket stood up when she saw me. I immediately ran to her and cried into her shoulder. I told her what happened. She held me as I cried.

"Hey, how about we go get a drink. You look like you need a few." She offered me.

I didn't refuse. "Yeah. Yeah I do."

There was a good bar close by, close enough to walk to. I walked with Rocket in the fading light. The bar was crowded that night. As soon as some people had left, Rocket and I took a seat at the bar. We ordered the strongest drinks they had. I was pretty drunk.

"Boys suck." Rocket said. "Like I would date you just to get away from boys."

"I know right!? Fucking boys. Fucking fuck." I slurred. "What losers."

"Lets shave Ghoul's head." Rocket said and laughed.

I laughed along with her, almost falling from my seat. "I'm not that mean, though." 

"Pssh!! I am!" She replied. 

We paid for our drinks and left the bar. Just as we had walked out the door, we were met with three girls. They were much taller than us. They didn't look friendly.

"I knew it was that bitch. I could recognize her anywhere." One of them said.

There were looking at me more than Rocket.

"The fuck you want?" Rocket asked.

"You're that chick that's with Ghoul, am I right?" They ignored Rocket.

"You don't deserve him, prick." Another girl said. "We heard about what you did."

"I did what?" I asked in a slurred voice.

"You kissed Cola." One of them replied.

I wanted to run away, but my brain refused to send messages to my legs to move. I stood there helplessly. I closed my eyes, waiting for the girl's punch to hit my face. I was on the ground with Rocket. They were kicking us and screaming swears I had never heard of before. It hurt so bad but the alcohol numbed my realization of the pain. They left before I could fall unconscious. I pushed myself up, tasting blood in my mouth. Rocket put her head in my lap. She had tried to fight them off for me but she was so small and could only do so much.

"I'm tired." She said. "Everything hurts. Why did they hate you?"

"Everyone hates me, Rocket." I responded. "Somehow the whole world knows everything about me."

"I don't hate you if that means anything." She replied before falling asleep.

I was too tired to wake up Rocket. My face hurt everywhere and my ribs ached. I sat there for a good hour before a car parked beside us. I recognized it as the Trans Am. Ghoul stepped out of the car. I shook Rocket awake.

"You need a ride?" Ghoul asked me.

I shrugged. Rocket sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily before falling asleep on me again. Ghoul hauled her up into the back of the car. She curled up in the back seat. Ghoul reached a hand out to me to help me up but I refused it. I stumbled to the passenger seat. We didn't talk on the way to Dr. D's. We dropped her off on the couch where she would be safe and sound.

I got back in the car with Ghoul. Once we were well past Dr. D's hideout he spoke.

"I'm sorry." He said.

I didn't say anything back. I was quite mad at him, but it was probably the alcohol making me feel that way. My true feelings were beginning to show. I hadn't done anything wrong. Ghoul hadn't trusted me after all we had been through.

"I should have listened to you. Cola admitted to me that he did kiss you."

I groaned. "Please don't tell me you beat the shit out of him."

Ghoul smirked. "Nah. Just scared him."

We were both silent again until Ghoul spoke up.

"I feel stupid still but not for the whole kiss thing. I feel stupid because I would never leave you and I acted out on dumb emotions. I shouldn't have done it. I was just scared and confused so I blurted out whatever before I actually sat and thought through things. I should have also known not to leave you by yourself after this. We both needed to talk things out. Even Cola knew you didn't deserve what happened tonight." He sighed loudly. "I'm sorry for acting like a child."

"What's going on with us now?" I replied quietly.

He pulled off to the side of the road.

"You tell me." He said quietly and kissed me.

I kissed him back and then said, "I'd like us to be together."

We exchanged soft kissed for a long time.

"I'm so drunk." I said against his lips.

"I won't lie, I had a few drinks too." He replied.

He pulled away from me and examined my face.

"Your face is starting to bruise." Ghoul told me.

"Mhm." I replied with my eyes shut.

"What happened to you?" He asked.

"Fangirls." I replied.

I felt the sudden urge to puke. I sat up quickly to open the door. Ghoul held back my hair.

"Please don't watch me puke." I croaked.

"Man, don't worry about it. You're going to be my wife." He said.

He helped me back to the car where I cleaned up a little. I could hear him saying something about the S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W being around as I passed out in the passenger seat. Ghoul got us home. He carried me bridal style to our room where he tucked me in. I mumbled something about loving him and he slipped my ring back on my finger where it belonged. He even cleaned the dirt and blood off of my face. I felt a cold mass on my swollen cheek. Somewhere in that time I fell asleep.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, my head exploded. It felt like needles were being stabbed into my scalp. I could barely move my body to the bathroom to puke again. I wished I hadn't had so much to drink. I felt a hand on my shoulder steadying me.

"Everything sucks." I groaned.

Ghoul pushed my hair out of my face as I sat down on the cold bathroom floor. .

"Shit. Your face looks awful." Ghoul commented.

"Thanks. That makes me feel like a princess." I replied sarcastically.

Poison peered in the bathroom at us. I groaned. What now?

"Can you guys come out to the sitting room please?" He asked.

He sounded nervous as he spoke. Ghoul helped me off the floor and I laced my fingers with his. I realized in that moment I was wearing no pants. I pulled on a pair of jeans lying on the bed.

"You done?" Ghoul asked.

"Yeah, yeah buttface. Sorry I'm not wearing my cute underwear today." I commented.

Ghoul made a face. "I am not a buttface. By the way, all of your underwear is cute. Especially on you. You look cute in everything."

In the sitting room, the two Japanese twins from the other night were staring at us nervously. They stood side by side. Poison was sitting on the couch, holding a VHS tape in his hands. It was labeled with tape and a sharpie. He turned to us when we entered the room.

"What's going on?" Ghoul asked.

We sat on the loveseat together.

"Neon Pop has gone missing. All he left was this tape and a note. It said to give the tape to you." Diamond Venom explained.

"We haven't watched it." Electric Heart added.

Jet turned to me. "What happened to your face?"

"She got beat up by some Fun Ghoul fangirls in a parking lot last night." Kobra answered.

"How the hell did you know that?" I asked him.

Great. The word that Rocket and I had been beaten up in a parking lot had gotten out somehow. I bet the girls were bragging about their victory.

"A lot of people are mad that you're engaged to Ghoul." Jet said. "You're going to need a bodyguard soon."

Poison was annoyed. "Can you shut up about the Zone gossip so we can watch this tape?"

Kobra groaned as Poison got up from his seat on the couch. A small tv sat on the floor. The plastic outside was yellowing from age. It even had a built in VHS player. It was plugged into an old outlet in the corner of the room where dust was collecting. He slid the tape into the player after turning on the TV. For a few seconds we were presented with a fuzzy screen before the video began to play.

The image depicted Rocket sitting on a chair in an empty room. She was bound by her wrists, gagged. There were loud footsteps until Neon came into the frame. He held a raygun in one hand. He turned to the camera and smiled before pressing the gun to Rocket's head.


	6. Screaming for Revolution

“The Fabulous Four. Responsible for innocent deaths and riots. I should just take Rocket’s life right now. I can show you how it feels to suffer loss like I have.” Neon Pop said.

The shadows on his face seemed to darken. Rocket was shaking from fear. She looked into the camera with wide eyes. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead. He seized her by her hair and she made sounds of protest, squeezing her eyes shut. I could tell she was sobbing. I tried not to cry too.

“I could take her life. I could. Or you could pay for your faults. We could make a deal.” He pulled the gun away from her head and let go of her hair. “I’m in the basement at the warehouse in Zone 4. You know where to go. 24 hours.”

The tape cut out there. We were silent until Kobra jumped up and grabbed the girl’s shoulders in anger.

“Where is she?!” He screamed at them. “You know something!”

It took several of us to pry him from them.

“I can’t believe he would do something like that.” Electric Heart said. “He never talked about being mad before.”

I didn’t know what to say. What did Neon want?

“If he wants money, I’ll give him all of the money we have.” Kobra muttered.

“We have to think!” Poison quieted us. “Obviously if we bring back-up, he will kill her.”

“I don’t think it matters what we do. I think he’s going to kill her anyway.” Jet said.

I buried my face in my hands. Ghoul put his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me. It felt like once things were getting better, they got significantly worse. I knew sitting around crying wasn’t going to bring Rocket back. I had to take a stand and go help them get her back. She was one of my best friends. I knew I was the same for her.

The others were arguing about a plan. They had no idea what he wanted to trade. What could possibly be so important to him? Did he want money? But what would money have to do with the riots? We had 24 hours to get to Neon and save Rocket.

I fought with Kobra about going with them. He didn’t want me to join their search and rescue mission. I screamed at him with tears in my eyes. The twins had backed out on the mission.

“She’s my best friend!”

“You always almost get yourself killed!” Kobra yelled back.

Ghoul frowned. “Phoenix… I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Stop agreeing with him, Buttface!” I yelled.

“I am not a buttface!” Ghoul yelled back.

Poison looked like he wanted to strangle us. “Stop acting like damn children. We are leaving in five minutes with or without Phoenix. Considering she is her own person, she gets to choose whether she goes or not.”

I was kind of mad at Ghoul for not taking my side. I left to go to my room. I didn’t want to talk to them about it anymore. I was going to get my boots on and grab my gun before they left me behind. As I was lacing my boots, Ghoul came in to the room and shut the door quietly behind him. I didn’t look up at him.

He went into the small closet we shared and rummaged around until he pulled out a large object from the back. Ghoul stood in front of me until I looked up at him.

“I was going to give this to you on our wedding day, but I thought you would find strength from it now.” He said, and held out the thing to me.

I took it in my hands, trying to figure out what it was. Inspecting it, I knew what it was. I was holding a long sword.

“It was expensive. It’s a katana.” He explained.

I carefully unsheathed it. I could see my face in the shiny metal. It was beautiful. The handle and sheath were decorated in orange. I couldn’t imagine how much he had paid for it. Along with it was a holster for my katana so I could easily carry it.

I put the katana on the bed next to me and got up to give him a huge hug.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked.

“Not really.” I replied and hugged him tighter.

“Do I get anything else?” Ghoul asked.

“Maybe later.” I laughed.

Poison called us. “Get your asses out here!”

I took my gun and slung my katana over my shoulder, running after Ghoul to the Trans Am. The killjoys had almost driven away without us. Kobra gave me a dirty look. I stuck my tongue out at him and he flipped me off. The usual.

As I sat in the car and watched the world around me go by, I became more and more aware of the aching in my face. I also realized Rocket’s drunkenness had made her an easy target. We probably shouldn’t have left her. I felt like puking again, and not from all of the alcohol I drank last night.

I threw my arms around Ghoul. “I feel sick to my stomach.”

He looked at me worriedly. “Are you going to throw up?”

“No. I just feel like… what if we lose her?”

Ghoul held me close to him. “Don’t think like that. I feel like Neon wouldn’t do something like this. It can’t be all of his doing, right?”

I wanted to think it was some big joke. Why would anyone want to hurt Rocket? She had done nothing. She shouldn’t be involved in all of this.

After some time had passed, I could just barely see the warehouse in the distance. Realization was starting to hit me hard; I felt so nervous now. I didn’t even know why I had brought the katana along with me. I didn’t know how to use it in the first place. The tires came to a slow halt outside the building. We all exited the car and huddled together to try and formulate a plan. Jet Star and Kobra were going to inspect all the entrances to check and see if any of the doors were unlocked to try and make a stealthy approach. I hid with Ghoul around the side of the building. Kobra waved us over and we slipped through a dark entrance.

Inside it was a large, open area. The air gave off a musty smell. There was no one in the room. A large door to the right of us opened up into complete darkness. Jet charged a mechanically powered flashlight and shined it into the dark room. The air was even more musty here. We stepped over broken glass to a metal door that looked as if it had once been locked, but was now pried open. Poison went first down the stairs. I was ushered to the back of the line. The stairs led to a few more doors, but it was obvious which one we were meant to open. A bright red arrow was spraypainted on one of the doors.

My heart began to race as Poison pressed his ear up against the door. He cautiously opened the door. I held my breath. We all drew out our guns. A voice immediately came from the room.

“I knew you wouldn’t leave her.”

Sitting in the middle of the room was an unconscious Rocket. She was bleeding from a cut on her head. Her forehead was bruised, making me believe that Neon had knocked her out. There were fading bruises from where she had been hit last night. Standing by her was Neon. He wore a smirk on his face. I wanted to shoot it off, but I knew any advances would cause him to hurt Rocket. We were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

“What do you want?” Poison asked, keeping his gun steady.

Neon laughed without humor and held up both of his hands as if to surrender. In one of his hands he held the gun I recognized from the tape he had sent us.

“Settle down, buddy. Lets have a chat.” Neon replied. “You pay for the damage.”

“What damage?” Kobra yelled.

Neon changed his calm expression to one of anger as he screamed back at Kobra.

“The things you’ve destroyed! The world is falling apart!”

“Welcome to reality! Things fell apart a long time ago! We are all trying to get by.” Poison said.

Neon put his raygun to Rocket’s head. “Eye for an eye.”

I heard a shot and I was afraid it was Neon shooting Rocket. But then I saw blood bursting from Neon’s wrist where he held the gun to Rocket’s head. He screamed in pain and dropped his gun. As he grabbed for it again, shots were going off all around the room. I ran towards Rocket through the gunfire at Neon and tried to saw through her ropes with a pocket knife. She was still gagged, but I could deal with it later. She was too heavy for me. Kobra ran to us and threw her over his shoulder. Neon was laying on the floor, injured. Ghoul grabbed him by the front of his shirt and looked into his eyes.

With blood in his mouth, Neon said, “Boom.”

Ghoul’s eyes widened and he threw Neon on the ground. Neon laughed and laughed. Ghoul grabbed my hand and tried to tug me back to the stairs but I was shocked. He threw me over his shoulder like Kobra did to Rocket, and ran. We threw ourselves into the Trans Am and began to drive away. I barely had time to crawl into the backseat. Behind us, the ground was shaking. We were far from the explosion now, but that didn’t save us from the noise. My ears were ringing. Poison had his foot on the gas. I got a glimpse of the warehouse in flames behind us. The image burned into my mind.

It was then that I realized how scared I was. My hands were shaking. I had to use my other hand to pry my fingers from my gun because I couldn’t let go. The gun dropped in front of my feet. The other killjoys were just as shocked as I was.

After the warehouse was out of view, Jet spoke.

“What the hell just happened?” He asked. 

"What was he talking about?" I asked Ghoul. 

He didn't respond.

I looked to the passenger seat where Rocket was curled up on Kobra’s lap. She was beginning to stir in his arms. I noted how he held her tightly to him, as if she was a precious object. I would have smiled if I knew how. I couldn’t seem to remember how to do anything. My bruised face was beginning to throb along with the beat of my heart. The life I had began to lead in the desert was something dangerous. I hadn’t realized what I was getting myself into when I left the city. How much would I have to pay for my freedom?


	7. My Way Home

We were getting a lot of calls through the radio asking us about what had just happened to us. S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W had been alerted of the fire and were putting it out. That’s all we knew. Rocket’s words were tumbling out of her mouth. She was shaking and talking about what happened to her. I could barely make out what happened. From what I understood, she woke up in the warehouse tied up.

“I was so scared.” She whispered to me, her eyes full of tears.

I put my arms around her. “You’re safe with us now.”

Kobra was pacing in front of us in the sitting room. Jet was in the kitchen answering people through the radio.

“We can’t let her live alone. She has to move in with us now.” Kobra was biting at his nails.

“Live...with you?” Rocket wiped tears out of her eyes. “Would I be a burden?”

“Absolutely not! I’ll start getting one of the rooms ready for you. I’ll wash the sheets. Kobra can bring you back to your place later to get your stuff.” I smiled at her reassuringly.

Ghoul and Poison came into the room. Jet had abandoned the radio to join us. We told them about our plan to keep Rocket with us. Not one of them disagreed with our plan. They knew as much as we did that we needed to stay close. Things were getting tense in the Zones. We had no choice. Jet even suggested that we start to invest in fencing. But it would make us stand out to the Dracs.

Speaking of the Dracs, we had seen too many in the last week. I was paranoid that they were planning our demise. I just wanted to live in peace without my loved ones being attacked or kidnapped. I had no chance of a honeymoon or a proper wedding due to the fear of it being ruined by the rulers of the city. They could show up unannounced anytime. We were not really ever safe.

Kobra took Rocket to the truck that was barely running to get her things. I sat there in the living room, wondering what our next move was. I was hungry and wanted to take a long nap. Ghoul took my hand in his and sat next to me on the couch.

“Let’s go out.” He said to me.

I was shocked. “Are you kidding me? After what just happened? There are Dracs everywhere!”

Ghoul shrugged. “They’ve settled down. I know a few backroads. We can go out a little later before the S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W.”

“But I need to help Rocket.”

“If you don’t want to go, just say so.” He laughed. “I’m sure Rocket would love to help you get ready.”

“Oh, I want to go. But should we really leave at a time like this?”

I was afraid that by ‘get ready’ he meant that the date was going to be fancy. I wasn’t good at that kind of thing. It made me nervous. I was also sure that Rocket would want to help me get ready. She was good at that kind of thing. But could I really bother her right now? My stomach growled as if it was trying to join my internal argument. Sure I was bad at anything formal but I sure did like free food.

“Phoenix, we are going out to eat. I can hear your stomach growling. We are going to the nicest restaurant I know of.” He said.

I blushed. “Okay.”

Rocket and Kobra didn’t take long. In that time, Ghoul helped me with the sheets for Rocket’s bed. We dusted the room and made sure the bathroom was clean. When I showed her the room, she was excited. Her face lit up.

“And I even get a bathroom!” She exclaimed.

Rocket turned on the sink and her smile grew wider. I hadn’t seen someone so excited about water before.

“Water. It’s so… clean.” She was mesmerized. “Can I take a shower?”

“Uhh...yeah. Do you need any other help? Ghoul and I are going out to eat.”

“No. No, I’m okay.” Rocket smiled politely at me.

As I left the room she was still playing with the water in the sink. It made me giggle. It also made me realize how lucky we were to have water. It was a luxury.

I stopped halfway out the door. I had forgotten to ask if she wanted to help me get ready. It could possibly take her mind off of her kidnapping. I crept back into her room and she looked up at me from where she was unpacking boxes. I shyly asked her for help and she grinned.

“Yay! I have so many things I think you would look perfect in.” She clapped her hands excitedly.

I was nervous about giving her the power to use makeup on my face. I had never put any on before for the fear of making myself look like a prostitute.

Rocket unzipped a bag and pulled out a lot of clothing. She laid some pieces out on the bed for me to look at. They were things I could almost never see myself wearing. I didn’t like revealing that much skin in public. It was a scary thought. It would draw too much attention.

“Definitely not the skirt.” I pointed to the mini skirt on the bed.

“Awwwww, why not?” She asked with a pout.

“Because it’s too…” I tried to think of a word to describe it. “Short.”

“Then you’re wearing a dress. No jeans. You need to show off your gorgeous legs.” She winked at me. “Plus from what I hear Ghoul is taking you some place special.”

“How do you know?” I asked

“He told me.” She smiled to herself.

“Where are we going?”

“I’m not telling.” Rocket said in a sing-songy voice. “He wants to talk to you about some things.”

I didn’t ask anymore questions and picked a black, strapless dress. Rocket smiled when she saw which one I picked.

“He also loves black on you.” She said.

“Did he tell you that too?” I asked.

“Yup!” She said matter-of-factly. “I’m keeping it in mind for your honeymoon lingerie.”

“Oh yeah? What else has he told you that he won’t tell me?” I asked.

“I can’t believe you’re making me give away all of the secrets.” Rocket laughed.

“Ugh just let me get dressed.” I grinned at her and pulled off my clothes.

My bra wasn’t well fitted for a strapless dress, and Rocket’s was too big for me. I decided going braless would probably be my only option. I hoped that my dress didn’t fall down. It felt pretty snug against my body, but I was still a little worried.

Rocket motioned for me to sit on the bed. She brushed through my long hair until it shined. She hummed as she did it, carefully stroking my hair. Then, she motioned for me to turn around so she could put makeup on me. She instructed for me to close my eyes and I could feel her carefully drawing on my eyelids. She blew on them to dry whatever she applied.

“Look up.” Rocket told me.

My eyes twitched when she tried to put on eyeliner under my eyes. She demanded me to hold still and I giggled, trying to keep my eyes from watering. She pulled away and looked at her work. Rocket smiled to herself.

“Go look in the mirror while I get your shoes.”

I did as she instructed, peeking in the bathroom mirror. I was afraid of what I might see. My hair looked soft and shiny. My eyes were lined with black. Rocket had drawn a small wing with liquid eyeliner for each eye. It wasn’t as scary as I had thought it would be. I walked back out to Rocket who was holding shoes that I wasn’t sure I could walk in.

“You did a good job.” I told her and smiled.  

Rocket added a garter belt that would hold my ray gun. It was a clever idea incase we got into trouble. My dress hid the gun nicely.

I slipped on my high heels and found that I wobbled a bit. I took small steps. I had an idea. I walked down the hall with Rocket behind me. Before she could ask what I was doing, I slipped into my room to get my Converse. When I came back out with shoes in hand, Rocket gave me a disapproving look.

“You are not wearing those.” She said with pure venom in her voice.

I stuck my tongue out at her. “Fight me.”

Rocket was about to attack me for the Converse, but we were interrupted by Poison.

“Hey hurry up. Ghoul is waiting for you.”

I could hear Ghoul’s chuckle from the other room. I wanted to see if they made him dress up too. I hurried down the hall and into the sitting room. When Ghoul saw me, he stood up and grinned. He was dressed in a button down shirt with a plain shirt under it. He left it undone. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. For pants, he wore nice jeans. His shoes were the best part. He wore Converse. I held up mine.

“You look gorgeous.” He approached me and took my hand.

Jet threw him the keys to the Trans Am. “Be careful, okay? The Dracs are everywhere.”

Rocket looked like she was about to burst with excitement and happiness. She had forgotten about the shoe incident. Once safe in the Trans Am, I could switch my heels for the Converse. As I laced up my Converse, I noticed Ghoul was watching me.

“You really do look beautiful, you know.” He smiled at me.

I could feel myself blushing. “I don’t think I am.”

He took my chin in his hand and turned my face towards him.

“You may not think so, but I do. You have the face of an angel and you make me feel funny inside.” Ghoul smiled shyly and chuckled.

My face turned an even deeper shade of red. I looked away and he stroked my cheek with his thumb before pressing a soft kiss on my lips. He started the car and began to drive. I watched the landscape out the window, wishing things were different. I wanted to go to a world where Ghoul and I were safe to get married. I wanted us to be safe in general.

Ghoul reached over with his free hand and put it gently on my thigh. He stroked my hair free skin with his thumb. I leaned my head back, the soothing touch making me feel better. I tried to forget that only a few hours ago a warehouse with Neon’s dead body went up in flames. While he burned, I was going on a date.

“Don’t you think it’s kind of...I don’t know...crazy to be going out right now?” I asked.

“It is.” He responded.

“Then why are we doing it?” I asked.

Ghoul sighed. “I was hoping we could get our minds off of it, you know? I don’t want to think about what happened.”

“Me neither.” I replied quietly.

We sat in silence for the rest of the ride. Ghoul finally pulled into a dusty parking lot. I stepped out in my high top Converse instead of heels. Ghoul put his arm around my waist as we walked. Most of the people getting out of their cars were dressed nicely like we were. I was curious as to where we were going. The building ahead of us looked dark. Dust clouded around our ankles.

A man standing at the entrance recognized Ghoul immediately and waved us over. He smiled politely at me and nodded at Ghoul. We followed him into the building. It wasn’t as dark as it looked on the outside. It was a fancy restaurant. It was nearly empty, although. I assumed it was because of the sudden increase of Dracs. All of the mice were chased back into their holes. Ghoul and I, however, were taking a risk.

The man didn’t seat us with the rest of the people. He took us up a flight of stairs to a quiet room. We sat across from each other. The man nodded to us both before leaving.

“That’s Ghost. He’s mute. He’s a great guy.” Ghoul explained.

“You know everyone.” I laughed. “You’re so popular.”

A different man with a voice brought us glasses and asked what kind of wine we wanted. I chose my favorite from a list. I was happy to have a change from beer. I took a sip, savoring the taste. Having to choose for dinner was hard. I didn’t know what I wanted. I just ordered what Ghoul was getting: some kind of pasta.  

“So, we are getting married.” Ghoul said with a smile.

“I suppose so.” I smiled back.

“Poison thinks it’s going to be a huge expense.” He folded his hands in front of him on the table.

“It is. Weddings usually are. I’m sure we can work something out. I still have to buy a dress and we need a date. We also need someone to marry us.”

Ghoul nodded. “I bet Rocket would marry us.”

“What does Rocket know about marriage?” I laughed.

“She has all of these plans. She tells me all the time. She really cares about you.”

I smiled and took a sip of my wine. Ghoul looked down and began to chuckle.

“What?” I asked, giving him a weird look.

It took a moment before he could respond. “I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you. I didn’t know a love like this could ever exist. I know it probably sounds stupid and corny but it’s so true.”

Ghoul was blushing. I could feel tears fighting to emerge. As they rolled down my cheeks, I quickly pushed them away with my fingertips. Ghoul looked at me as if he was startled.

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked.

“No. No...it’s just...I love you too. Like a lot.” I said quietly.

Our food had arrived and I smiled politely at the waiter. I dug into my pasta immediately. I hadn’t had pasta in so long. It was so much better than the canned food we had at the motel. I wanted to stuff my face full of pasta for the rest of my life, no matter how fattening it was. I had cleaned my plate. Ghoul took the check like a gentleman.

“It must be a lot, right?” I asked him.

He shook his head. “I know people here. I used to be a regular before I had work to do.”

Once in the car, I asked him questions about our wedding since he seemed to know more than I did.

“Where are we going for a honeymoon? Rocket said something about it today.”

Ghoul smirked. “It’s a surprise.”

I pouted. “Okay. Then what about the venue? The date? My dress?”

“Slow down, kid. You’re going to give yourself a seizure. Venue is our place. The date...December 12th. Rocket is taking you to get your dress.” He responded.

“December 12th? That’s only a few months from now. How will we have everything ready?” I felt a wave of anxiety take me over.

“Calm down! The bride has to rest. The groom is taking care of everything. You’re going to get forehead wrinkles.” Ghoul laughed.

I playfully punched his arm as we pulled into the garage besides the motel. Ghoul opened my door and pulled the garage door down behind us. Jet came running to us from the motel. He looked worried and out of breath.

“Rocket.” He heaved. “A Drac stabbed her. She’s inside. She’s okay.”

Despite the confirmation of her status, I ran inside like my life depended on it. I slid across the floor to find her laying on a couch in the sitting room in her bra. Her side was bandaged well. She frowned at me.

“I had an accident.” She said.

“Rocket, you dummy! You loser.” There were tears streaming down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I’m really having a bad day.” Rocket said and groaned, clutching her side.

I kneeled by her and pushed her blonde hair our of her face as she explained to me what happened. She had tried to go back to her old home to get some of her things. She thought she saw the Trans Am but it ended up just being Dracs. Rocket was able to kill everyone, but not without getting a nice wound in her side. She tried to smile at me and ask how my date was, but her expression turned to one filled with pain.

“Get some rest. You’re gonna need it.” I told her.

I placed a kiss on her forehead. I didn’t want to leave her. But I also didn’t want her to strain herself. I could tell she was exhausted. Poor girl. I slowly got up to join Ghoul, but her words stopped me.

“Phoenix?”  
I turned to look at her. With a smile, she said, “Those Converse look nice with that dress.”


	8. Heartbeats

Ghoul and I laid in bed together mostly naked. We didn't have sex. We just held each other close. I cried a little and rambled about how horrible I felt. Ghoul didn't mind stroking my hair and letting me cry into his chest. I had held in too many bad emotions for so long. I wanted to just be held by Ghoul without having to ever move. His warmth and heartbeat comforted me. We kissed softly for awhile, whispering 'I love you's. I ran my hands over his tattoos, taking in the colors. His breath caught when I ran my lips over the tattoos on his neck.

"That feels amazing." He whispered.

"Does it?" I whispered back.

"Mmm." He responded.

I could feel the vibrations against my lips from his voice. Ghoul's eyes closed, a slight smile on his face. I lovingly nuzzled into his neck and nipped his skin. He chuckled.

"I'm going to suck out your soul." I whispered.

"And then what?" He asked between laughter.

"Then I'm gonna sell it to Satan so we can pay for our wedding." 

Ghoul laughed. In the silence after, I could feel my eyes slowly closing shut. Just as I was about to fall asleep, Ghoul asked me a question.

"Do you ever miss the city? It looks beautiful at night. You could almost forget how bad it is."

I thought about my time spent in the city. I didn't have enough money to live in the nice part of the city. I was put in a dirty apartment and lived with several other people. The ceiling leaked water even when it wasn't raining. Most of my neighbors were drug addicts or had sex every night, making it impossible for me to sleep. The annoying crash of prostitutes having fun upstairs made me want to die. Children played in the streets, the concrete littered with trash. You had to carry a knife everywhere you went incase there were thieves hiding in the shadows. When our daily pills were delivered by the pharmacists, you had to look both ways when opening the door. Sometimes there were quiet times where I could lay down and stare at the cracked ceiling without being disturbed by the lady in the next room asking for her husband. Soon enough she was slowly lulled to sleep by medication. I didn't know if I could possibly miss all of that. 

I shook my head. "Not really. But I guess you're right. It is beautiful at night."

"Sometimes I miss the security of it all."

I was confused. "I thought you lived on the edge of the city?"

"I did. But my biological father fought in the war as well as I so I was given a nicer place, I guess." Ghoul shrugged.

I explained my living conditions to him. I waited for him to respond. I looked up and saw that he had fallen asleep. I laughed quietly before falling into a deep sleep.

Dracs with skinny arms grabbed my wrists, their nails long like claws. They didn't have masks. Blood leaked from the corners of their mouths. They dragged me along a cracked road, the cement rough against my back. I tried to yell out, but it only came as a whisper. Behind me, tall buildings reaching the clouds were burning. Smoke billowed out, spitting images of death.

The Dracs threw me in front of a tall man. I looked up to see him peeling off his face as if it was latex, revealing Neon's sharp features. I tried to scream once more. He slipped a knife from his side and stabbed it into his gut. He pulled the knife down at a sharp angle and his organs slipped out from the wound. They fell onto the ground in front of me. He grinned at me with blood in between his teeth. Neon laughed as he died.

The Dracs tightened their grip on my wrists. I could feel warm blood running down my arms. There were hot tears in my eyes that wouldn't fall. I begged myself to wake up from the nightmare but it was too real. I could hear the screams of my mother and her last seizure. The sky became blinding red before I woke up shaking. I couldn't cry.

"Phoenix?" Ghoul was stroking my hair.

I couldn't seem to catch my breath. I knew that I was panicking, but I couldn't calm myself.

"Phoenix, you're scaring me." He said a little louder.

I whimpered in response, pulling my knees to my chest. My old bullet wounds were aching. They only did this after I had done too much physical activity or in times of severe anxiety. Ghoul wasn't sure how to react, so he just held me and kissed my head.

"Do you want to go up to the roof?" He asked.

I took a deep breath and nodded. Ghoul slipped out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans. He was out the door before I could even get dressed. I pulled on a shirt and some pajama pants, shuffling out the door. My hands were still shaking. I climbed the stairs slowly, making sure not to slip. Ghoul and I had cleaned them of trash earlier to make sure at times like these we didn't get glass in our feet.

Ghoul was already on the roof with a cigarette between his lips. I hadn't seen him smoke in a long time. I ruffled his hair before sitting by the edge of the roof. I knew he was stressed out. Sometimes I felt like I was the reason for him going back to smoking. But he told me that old habits die hard and I couldn't be blamed for his smoking habit.

"You want one?" He asked me.

I shook my head.

"You'll try it eventually." Ghoul put the cigarette back to his lips.

"Peer pressure! Bullying!" I yelled at him.

He grinned and laughed. He took a seat next to me and I leaned my head against his shoulder. The smoke made my nose burn but I didn't move. Instead, I reached into his pocket and stole the box of cigarettes from him and read the side out loud.

"Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy."

"Hey at least I'll die faster." Ghoul replied.

"Don't say that!" I exclaimed.

I could feel tears burning in my eyes. I wiped them away before he could see. I wished he could feel what I was feeling. All I could think about was laying on Dr. D's bathroom floor, dying and hoping to see Ghoul again. My heart felt as if someone had filled it with glass shards. I bit down on my lip, trying to stop the tears. At the same time, I was angry at him.

I got up and threw his cigarettes at him. They hit him in the back of the head, falling out of the box. I wish I could have gone back and punched him.

"What the hell?" He turned to look at me.

"You're such an asshole sometimes!" I yelled at him.

"I never wanted you to see that part of me." His jaw tensed.

Ghoul got up from where he sat, throwing his cigarette on the pavement below. By the way he was walking, I thought he was going to hit me. But he didn't. He grabbed me in his arms and kissed me hard. I grabbed him back and kissed him back. I put all of my emotions into the kiss. I was rough with him, not afraid to take dominance. I clawed my nails into his back, running them towards his shoulders. At that, he deepened the kiss.

I wanted to make him beg for it. I wouldn't give in easily. My thighs were warm at the thought. At the same time, I knew that I shouldn't give him anything. He had been an asshole to me. Even if I loved him, he didn't deserve it. But I couldn't let go of him.

Ghoul laid me down on the roof, but I didn't let him top. I slipped off my shirt and Ghoul tried to touch my chest but I didn't let him. He looked somewhat aggravated and it made me smile. I unbuttoned his jeans and moved to slip them off. His underwear came next.

"Tell me what you want." I said.

"You." He gasped.

With a smirk, I gathered up his clothes and ran off the roof and down the stairs. I couldn't stop laughing. I opened Rocket's door, shut it, and locked the door. I slid to the floor and laughed so hard that I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks. Rocket was sitting up in bed staring at me. I tried to explain, but the words wouldn't come out. I was sitting on her floor shirtless with Ghoul's clothes in a ball by me.

"Phoenix?" Rocket asked.

I wiped my tears away and stumbled to her bed to tell her what I had just done. We were both in tears now. Now I was crying because I was upset. I was stressed out beyond belief. Rocket rubbed my back and I put my shirt back on.

"He had been an ass to you. You did the right thing." She said. "Do you need a drink?"

I smiled. "Yeah. How about some brandy?"

We shuffled out to the bar and looked for anything like brandy. We grabbed glasses and walked back to Rocket's room. Ghoul was standing outside of his door, staring at us walking down the hallway. His arms were crossed. He looked unhappy. I couldn't help but laugh as I saw him. He had found clothes to wear but the thought of him walking to our room with no clothes made me laugh more.

"You want a drink?" I offered the bottle to him.

"You were naked." Rocket laughed.

"What is it?" He asked, ignoring Rocket.

"I think its brandy." I squinted my eyes, trying to look at the label.

There was a shout from down the hall. I saw a blob of red from the crack of a door.

"Can you all shut up?"

There was silence between us. Then Rocket handed Ghoul and I the glasses.

"You guys go makeup, okay?" She gave us her pleading eyes.

Ghoul and I walked back into our room. Rocket threw Ghoul's clothes at us before we closed the door. I wasn't sure what to say to him. He put the glasses down on his desk. Ghoul poured us our drinks and handed me my glass. The drink was strong and warmed my insides.

Ghoul sighed. "You got me all hot and bothered and then you took my clothes. When I first rescued you from the side of the road in the middle of Death Valley, you were the shyest kid I have ever met. What happened?"

I smiled. He was right. I had changed a lot and gained some self confidence. But I wouldn't let him get off topic. I crossed my arms and wiped the smile off my face.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. What I said was unnecessary. I have a problem with cigarettes and I've tried to quit." He took the cigarette box out of his pockets. "But, they have helped me calm my nerves in difficult situations. That's when I smoke."

"You haven't been smoking lately." I raised an eyebrow.

"Until now, I tried to quit. I met you and wanted to impress you." 

I rolled my eyes

 

He bit his lip. "I owe you a lot, actually. For putting up with me. There's a lot I haven't told you."

"Like?" I asked.

We sat down on the bed together and he told me about the wars. I finished my drink and sat it on the bedside table. He told me everything he remembered including gore. I could see he was still shaken up with it. I held his hand. Ghoul confirmed again what Poison said about him killing people but included details that Poison didn't. The details made all the difference in how I saw him. I didn't like how much it affected him. I loved him and didn't want to see him in that much pain. I took his face in my hands and kissed him. He kissed me back

"I love you so much no matter what." I said between kisses.

"Never leave me." He whispered.

I ran my tongue across his bottom lip and our kisses deepened. We were pulling off our clothes and running our hands over each other. He was finally going to get what he wanted. I positioned myself on top of him like before but this time I didn't run away. There's no way to politely say it, but we had sex. I collapsed on his chest afterwards, cuddling him. He traced my body with his fingers, softly rubbing my back. We laid there for awhile like that in silence until Ghoul spoke.

"You tired?" Ghoul asked.

"Not really." I responded.

"I think we should go again."

And so we did.


	9. Shot in the Dark

The next morning was Sunday, so we decided to take a Sunday drive. Along the road, we saw a Drac walking. Poison slowed down even though I begged him not to. Rocket who was sitting on my lap agreed with me. Of course Poison had to slow down to bother the Drac.

“Poison, he isn’t bothering everyone. Dracs are like bees. If you leave them alone, most of the time they will leave you alone.” I tried to convince him.

He ignored me and rolled down the window. “Hey buddy where ya goin’?”

“Poison!” Rocket yelled at him. “Lets leave.”

The Drac stopped as Poison did. He was about to take off his mask until Poison pointed his gun out the window and shot him. Rocket and I both screamed, making Ghoul jump. I climbed over Kobra in the front seat to get past him. I opened the door quickly and fell out to the ground. I scrambled up to go see the Drac. The Drac had a shot on his left side. Poison got out as well and ripped off his mask. Cola’s pained face stared back at him. On the back of his neck, half of a chip had been ripped off.

“Poison you asshole!” I screamed at him. “You don’t just shoot people like that!”

Rocket took off her shirt revealing her white tank top. She pressed her shirt to his wound. I ripped the rest of the chip from the back of Cola’s neck. Poison sat there, staring. Ghoul helped Rocket apply pressure. Blood seeped through the shirt. Blood ran over the skin of Rocket and Ghoul. We hoisted Cola into the back seat and attempted to pile in with him. We took him to Dr. D. He was just barely conscious in the car. I wanted to scream at Poison but I knew it wasn’t appropriate to do at the time. Dr. D and Show Pony were questioning us and I couldn’t even say anything in response. I had no words.

“He was missing, captured by some Dracs awhile ago.” Dr. D told us. “We thought he was lost for good.”

“He’ll be alright, just needs that bullet removed.” Show Pony said.

I stood there with my arms crossed. Ghoul and Rocket headed to the bathroom to wash their hands of the blood. I followed them and watched as the red water washed down the drain. Rocket smiled at me sadly before leaving me alone with Ghoul. Ghoul pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. He did the same as Rocket. He smiled sadly at me. It seemed people did that when they didn’t know what to say about a situation, particularly this one.

“Well, he did hit on you.” Ghoul said quietly and chuckled.

I shook my head at him. “Ghoul, please.”

He still smiled. “He will be okay.”

“Okay.” I sighed. “Are we ignoring the fact that Poison just shot him?”

“He didn’t know.” Ghoul replied. “Lets do something happy instead of letting this effect us.”

“Like what?” I asked.

I felt like we did this too often to forget the situation, but I agreed to do something with him to make him feel better. I didn’t want this to bother him.

“Let’s cause havoc in the city.” He grinned. “We could jump the fence where there’s no cameras on the south side. Towards the dumps.”

“That sounds like an awful idea. We could get caught so fast.” I couldn’t believe he just came up with that idea.

“I’ve done it before. I’m going with or without you.” Ghoul was using a technique I knew well.

I let him win. “I’ll go.”

I would need a few drinks to feel that rebellious. I didn’t know what he wanted to do. Kick over a few trash cans? I wasn’t familiar with troublemaking. I had always obeyed the rules like a simple girl.

As soon as we got home, Ghoul gathered spray paint in bags and some markers. I knew we would get in trouble. It made me nervous. I grabbed a few beers for the ride. The others were too lazy to come along with us. They decided to spend the night drinking at home while Ghoul and I caused problems. Rocket wanted to be with Kobra which wasn’t a surprise at all.

Ghoul and I dressed all in black before climbing into the Trans Am. The air was windy and somewhat cold. I pulled my leather jacket tightly around me while uncapping a beer. The warm liquid poured down my throat, making the cold more bearable. The stars twinkled ahead. The galaxy unfolded before us as we drove. Constellations waved hello at us. I sipped my beer, smiling at the stars. Ghoul asked for one and I handed him a cold bottle. He took a long drink before whooping loudly towards the sky. I laughed with him.

The south side of the fence came closer and closer. We stopped behind a shack before getting out with our bag of supplies. Ghoul helped me over the fence and threw our bag over before climbing the fence himself. We walked into an alleyway and he started spray painting a white wall with “Ghoul waz here” in green followed by a smiley face. I laughed and took another sip of my beer. He handed me an orange can so I could spray paint a bird.

“Nice art.” He commented.

The dark alleys reminded me of my life in the city beforehand. They were surprisingly clean. The streets were dark and empty, barely lit by the street lights above. I was on my second beer now, feeling plenty warm enough. Ghoul and I headed towards the more civilized district where we kicked over neat trashcans and took down mailboxes with a baseball bat. I wasn’t worried about getting in trouble anymore. Ghoul and I were laughing so hard we were crying and bending over, holding onto our thighs. Ghoul was tipsy already after drinking more beers than I had. I was on my fourth, feeling the effects taking over me due to my low alcohol tolerance.

“Told you we’d have fun. I need to stay a little sober so when you get hammered I can drive home.” He told me.

I laughed. “I already feel so drunk. I’m gonna fall over and die.”

I snorted loudly and danced around like an idiot. Ghoul took a polaroid of me riding a trashcan on the ground like a horse. I knew I would regret it later, but it didn’t matter at the time. It was hilarious.

“We better go before someone comes outside and you get too drunk.” He guided me back to the car and over the fence slowly. I was on a sixth beer and fell flat on my face.

Ghoul scooped me up and put me in the drivers seat. Feeling confident, I attempted to give him a blowjob. We were so into it that when Dracs came to the car, I was thankful for the tinted windows. I tried to shoot but my blurry vision made it impossible. Ghoul told me to stay in the car and whined because I was missing out on the action. I puked all while Ghoul shot up some Dracs. I passed out before we could get home.

 


	10. White Dress

The next morning my headache was worse than I thought it would be. Ghoul fluffed up my pillows and brought me a hot cup of tea. He stroked my hair as I relaxed.

“Last night was crazy.” Ghoul said and laughed. “Especially what you said to me before bed.”

I immediately sat up. “What did I say?”

“You told me you wanted to do really dirty things to me. You confessed your every fantasy.” He laughed more.

My face turned red. “Are you serious?”

He nodded. “It was cute though. I told you some things that you might not remember.”

I tried to think of what he might have told me. Nothing came to mind.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“I hope you remember it later.” was all he replied with.  

I finished my tea and got up to wash my hair. I had the intentions of visiting Rocket but she wasn’t in her room. I headed down to the sitting room where I was greeted by the sight of Rocket and Kobra making out. My eyes went wide and I walked away, scared. Rocket followed me into the kitchen.

“Look, I was gonna tell you about yesterday but you were drunk.” She explained.

“I just really never want to walk in on you making out again.” I said.

Kobra walked by me and winked. I made a disgusted face in return.

“Hey, today we are going dress shopping to take your mind off of it.” Rocket was clearly very excited. “You are going to be a beautiful bride! Imagine you walking down the aisle and Ghoul is crying from your beauty. You’ll be like Aphrodite or something.”

I shook my head. “You’re insane. But I guess I should get dress shopping over with. There can’t be a crazy amount of dresses around anyway.”

I was wrong. The amount of dresses I saw in the small boutique that looked like it was about to fall over filled the entire store. I sorted through them, trying to go for something simple but Rocket wouldn’t let me.

“Expand your horizons, kid. There’s so many more than just that. If you can see yourself in it, then go for it!” She was pushing through racks of vintage dresses.

I broke down. “I don’t see me in any of them. I’m so unattractive. How will I look good in anything?”

Rocket put an arm around me. “Honey, don’t. Try some things on. You’ll look great in anything.”

I tried on several things before thinking about giving up until Rocket brought me one more dress.

“Hey I saw this and thought of you. I know it’s crazy but I’m having total psychic vibes or waves or whatever.” She sat it on the rack in the dressing room.

I didn’t even think about it as she laced up the dress. My eyes were at my bare feet until I heard Rocket gasp. I looked up in the mirror to see her crying behind me and waving her hands to stop the tears in her eyes. I stared at myself in the mirror and my heart stopped. It hugged my small figure and slowly fanned out into a long skirt. The bodice was covered in small but simple jewels on each side. They dotted the skirt like tear drops. It featured no straps and laced like a corset in the back. Just as I was admiring the dress, Rocket stopped to look at the price.

“There’s no fucking way.” She said under her breath. “Fuck, Phoenix. This sucks.”

As soon as she said we couldn’t buy it, I took it off and walked towards our car. I wanted nothing to do with bad vibes like that. If I couldn’t have it, I would walk away from it. I had tears in my eyes as I waited for Rocket. We drove back in silence.

Ghoul wanted to know how things went but I wasn’t sure what to tell him. I quietly said that I didn’t find anything and we were both disappointed. I sat in bed most of the day, thinking about life itself and my wedding. How could something so perfect be so wrong? I just wanted a dress that wasn’t the price of all we owned.

Ghoul came into the room and brought a cup of tea with him. He sat next to me on the bed and handed it to me.

“How are things?” He asked.

“Alright. I’m just disappointed.” I whispered.

“Me too. I wish it worked out. Rocket told me about that dress.”

“Did she?” I looked up from my tea.

“Yeah. She told me I couldn’t look at it until the wedding when I walked down the aisle so when I bought it I was very careful not to get a peek at it.” He replied, smiling.

“Ghoul!” I yelled.

I threw my cup of tea down on the table next to me and put my arms around him. He fell back onto the bed with me and I hugged him as hard as I could.

“You suck for paying that price.” I said against his chest and laughed. “You suck so much but I love you.”

He ruffled my hair. “I love you too.”


	11. Immortals

I learned of Ghoul's birthday after talking to the other killjoys about Halloween. I normally would be excited to dress up and eat candy but I was mostly worried about what I would get Ghoul. I knew nothing of any shops in the area because I never explored them. I had only gone with Rocket and Ghoul a few times. I also wasn't sure what to buy for Ghoul. I wanted to make sure it was just the right gift. I didn't have many options.

"What do you want for your birthday?" I asked.

"Nothing." Ghoul replied, resting his arms behind his head.

After that discussion, I was at a brick wall. I tried to get Rocket to help in my time of need.

"I have no idea what to get Ghoul." I said in defeat.

"Make him something. Homemade gifts are the best." She replied with a smile.

"Wouldn't he expect more? I mean his birthday is in a few days and I need to buy something." I paced her room.

"Make him letters. One for each holiday or occasion. But he can't open them until that day." She suggested. "It's cute and thoughtful."

I thought about her idea. It was the only one we had so far. Ghoul had gifted me with bigger things even when it wasn't a special occasion. How could I ever repay him? I thought long and hard before sitting on Rocket's bed and writing the letters. Ones for when he was sad or for when he was mad at me. I finished with about a hundred letters and we almost ran out of envelopes. I decorated each one with doodles and hearts. I included a Polaroid of me for his pocket and a locket with us in it. I hoped it would be enough

The day of his birthday we were hosting a costume party. I made a cake very carefully with the ingredients provided and scavenged for candy with Poison. Rocket hung decorations as she stood on a stool. Her height made it so she still had to stand on her tip toes to reach.

Ghoul entered the sitting room with sleepy eyes.

"Happy Birthday cutie!" I shouted and ran to give him a hug.

He kissed my forehead and thanked me with a returned hug. Ghoul smiled at the decorations and the ghosts that Rocket and I drew. Although Rocket drew most of them and I drew a sad one in the corner that I tried to hide.

Ghoul pointed to my ghost. "Who drew this one?"

"Me." I admitted.

"I want this tattooed for my birthday. Right on my leg. It's the best ghost ever." He laughed.

Ghoul's first present was getting his ghost tattoo. He was so excited that his smile practically reached his ears. I sat in the tattoo shop with him and was sure that he was so excited that he couldn’t feel the pain in his leg from the needle. It was great to see him that happy. It had been awhile since his eyes had lit up like they were at that moment.

Back home, I dressed in a black dress and a witch hat. I wasn’t able to find anything really costume worthy. Ghoul dressed as Frankenstein’s monster, which was a small joke between us. The rest of the crew went for a more lame and not unique approach to Halloween. They were all zombies. Rocket’s makeup on everyone was phenomenal. The watery eyed Killjoys with black eyeliner rimming their eyes set up food and candy. Ghoul and I searched for music other than Thriller by Michael Jackson. I couldn’t wait to give him his gift

“What did you get me?” He asked.

“I can’t tell you.” I winked at him in response.

He sighed loudly. “No one will tell me anything.”

I laughed and put an arm around him as we walked out of the ballroom decorated for Halloween and into the kitchen to snack on candy from a bag. Rocket dragged me out of the kitchen to talk to her. She looked so excited that she was about to blow up.

“So, like, I was talking to Kobra and he called me his girlfriend so I guess it’s for realz.” She was giggling excitedly.

“Stay safe, kids. Use protection.” I laughed.

Rocket rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Okay, mom.”

The guests had begun to arrive, all dressed for Halloween. Ghoul’s face lit up as he said hello to everyone and winked at me. Ghoul’s gifts were stacked high in the ballroom. The lights were turned off and the glow in the dark decorations did their job.

“Seems like our party is a success.” I yelled over the noise to Ghoul.

He nodded. “This is probably one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.”

“Well, Happy Birthday Frankenstein.” I kissed his cheek and pulled him on the dance floor.

I admit, I’m an awful dancer but when our slow song came on we were ready to kick it down a notch. The group parted for us as we danced. It was just Ghoul and I in that moment. I got in a few kisses before the end of the song and Ghoul announced that he was going to open his presents. Mine was buried beneath the others. Everyone gave him such thoughtful gifts that when he got to mine (which happened to be last), I felt awful. I didn’t buy him much at all. He pulled out the letters wrapped in ribbon. The letter on top read: Read On Your Birthday. I watched as Ghoul opened it and began to read what I had made. When he was done, he looked up at me. I began to stutter and try to explain what the letters were for.

“You read one for each occasion.”

He motioned for me to come over, which I did. Ghoul pulled me into a tight hug, and kissed me hard. ‘Awe’s spread through the crowd.

“Out of all the gifts, I love yours the best.” He whispered in my ear.

He put on the locket and slipped the polaroid in his pocket. It made me happy that he liked my gift so much. I knew he would cherish each letter in the bunch. I could see him reading each title as we waited for the cake that I had tried to make.

“I want to open them all now.” He whined and laughed.

“You have to wait, silly.” I sat next to him.

“I can’t wait for the wedding day and honeymoon one. I can even feel something inside the honeymoon one. What is it?” Ghoul looked up at me with curious eyes.

“You’ll see.” I smirked.

The cake turned out to be just fine although I was an awful baker and there wasn’t a lot of baking supplies in the Zones. In fact, Ghoul even said it was the best cake besides the Ninja Turtles one he had for his 8th birthday. I made sure to draw a pumpkin and ghost on the cake to make it more festive. I knew he loved Halloween and didn’t mind his birthday being squished with it. We couldn’t put 26 candles on the cake, so we settled with six.

“I’m six years old!” He announced.

“Make a wish.” I told him and put my hand on his shoulder.

He blew out the candles after he thought about his wish.

“What did you wish for?” Poison asked.

“A peaceful wedding without Dracs.” Ghoul laughed.

Instead of watching horror movies which Ghoul loved to do, he told me he wanted to spend time with me alone. I kind of knew what this meant, and blushed at it. I followed him back to our room.

“It’s my birthday.” He said matter of factly.

“Indeed. What were you thinking?” I sat on our bed.

He thought for a second. “Can I see your scars?”

I was a bit surprised. He had seen them many times before. I raised an eyebrow at him. They were from a very long time ago. I had stopped self harming because people started to notice. But the scars still remained.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

He nodded. I took off my clothes and sat back down on the bed. Frank sat down next to me and traced the ones on my leg with his fingers before leaning down to kiss them. He kissed the ones on my arms as well. He studied them, watching how they changed under the pressure of his fingers. It was wrong for them to be romanticized, but it made me feel better about them.

“You don’t think they are disturbing or ugly?” I asked.

He shook his head. “They are a part of you. Never be ashamed of your scars.”

Frank took off his shirt and turned his back to me. I remembered the scar from long ago. I traced it with my fingers, trying to remember if he told me how he got it. He told me anyway.

“My back was slashed open during the war with a knife. I barely got away. It needed a lot of stitches. I got the tattoo over it so I wouldn’t have to look at it anymore.” Ghoul explained.

I looked at the tattoo of the pumpkin on his back and the words Keep the Faith in script. I ran my hand over his warm back.

“Do you get all of your ink done at the same place?” I asked.

“Of course.” He smiled. “I only trust one person to do my ink.”

“What else would you like for your birthday?” I asked in a seductive voice.

“Cuddles.” Ghoul replied.

We lay under the blankets together, him resting his head on my chest. I stroked his black hair, feeling his warm breath against my skin. I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to come but it never did. Ghoul suggested that we get up and go watch old movies on the couch. I thought it was a good idea and we moved to the sitting room. I laid on top of him, the back of my head against his chest. We threw a blanket on top of us and started up The Shining. We made out and snuggled until I was too tired to keep my eyes open anymore.


	12. Before the Dawn

The weeks passed too fast. My birthday came and went but I told no one about it. I didn’t want it to be a distraction. The Dracs had increased in number and I wasn’t ready to have a party anytime soon. I wanted my wedding day to go smoothly. That meant stocking up on equipment and starting to build a fence. It wouldn’t be done by my wedding day, but it was a good start. I was afraid the fence might attract Dracs but Ghoul insisted it be built.

Rocket made me put on the dress for the 6th time that week just to make sure it still fit (though I think she just wanted to look at it). I told her I wanted to go down the aisle in my converse and I wanted Ghoul to wear his. She gave me a harsh look.

“On your wedding day? Are you sure?”

I nodded. “They symbolize a lot to me.”

I admitted I was nervous about being a bride. What if I tripped on the way down the aisle? It wouldn’t be the first time I messed up during an important event. It was also going to be a new chapter in my life. Was I ready for this? There was no time for second thoughts. I had to listen to my heart.

Ghoul was off having his bachelor party and had promised not to get too drunk so he would be able to wake up early the next day. Rocket and I were left alone at the motel, trying to think of something fun to do before my wedding the next day.

"Let's ask personal questions like most girls do at sleepovers." She suggested as we sat there in our pjs.

"I guess. Who goes first?" I asked.

Rocket grinned. "The bride of course!"

I thought about what I could possibly ask. I knew she probably wanted me to ask about her and Kobra.

"How far have you gone with Kobra?" I asked.

"Only 2nd base." She giggled. "But I think he wants more."

I laughed and shook my head. "Your turn."

Rocket tapped her finger against her lips. "Hmm. When did you know you were ready to go all the way with Ghoul?"

"Not until the night of when he told me he liked me back." I responded.

"But you didn't lose your virginity to Ghoul, right?" She asked.

"You don't get two questions." I joked, not wanting to talk about it.

"Seriously, though. Who did you lose your virginity to?"

"My mom's boyfriend." I looked down at her sheets on her bed.

"Wait...Ghoul said something happened when you were younger." Rocket whispered. "Did he mean...?"

I nodded. "I didn't want him to tell anyone though."

She put her arm around me. "He only told me. He said it was something personal and one day you might tell me."

I didn't want to think about what happened to me. I knew she wanted the scoop but it hurt to open up the wound. It had to all come out sometime but I didn't know if I was ready yet. I loved Ghoul and Rocket and I knew they were there for me. But it wasn't time for me to spill the beans. What happened was between me and the person it happened with. I wasn't giving details. It would just make me go into a state of panic again. I had buried the deeds for so long that I was used to them being there in the back of my mind. I couldn't unearth them without consequences.

People in school found out a long time ago even though I had told no one. I wasn't sure how it got out but they called me a slut for being with an older man. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't consensual. But they made me feel like it was my fault. They said that my clothes made me look like I asked for it although I wore jeans and a t-shirt everyday. No ones clothes make them ask for it. I was also told that I was begging for attention and this was a rumor I made up. I told no one. I was scared beyond my witts that anyone knew what had happened to me although there were variations of the rumor circling the school. When I was called down to guidance I lied my way through it like a queen. This was the way I lived.

"You have scars. I saw them but I said nothing. You've been through a lot and I admire you for that." Rocket pulled me closer.

The bullying was what started the cutting and burning. I felt like I deserved it. I was in the state of mind that I had been the one who had caused everything to happen. I didn't know how to think clearly as a youngling. It was just how I coped. It was a very bad coping skill and I wish it on no one. But that was how I learned. The pain built up inside until it exploded like a bomb. Then I was exploding, too. I stopped when I was able to get support through a blog. I knew that I wasn't alone. I'm really never alone.

"Thank you for being there." I whispered.

Rocket was in tears. "When I saw you on the floor that day with the pills I knew I had to save you. You had a future. Your lover wasn't gone forever. Life isn't hopeless. It's about getting up again and teaching others how to stand on their own. I had to help you and teach you how to stand on your own. But you were already so strong inside. You got up again and you fought for what you loved. You are my literal role model for that."

I was crying now too. I wiped away my tears with my hand. I had always wanted to affect someone in a positive way. I wanted to know that someone out there would be inspired by something I did. I wanted to change the world but all I really needed to do was start with the ones around me. They mattered most.

Rocket and I cut out magazine photos to hang around her room while drinking fruity margaritas. We danced to our favorite songs like teenage girls (though we were both teenage girls). The boys came home to us dancing in the living room like idiots. Ghoul was covered in glitter.

“I promise we didn’t take him to a strip club.” Kobra laughed. “We went regular clubbing and they heard it was the night before his wedding.”

“Ghoul get in the shower so I don’t have to vacuum.” I said and ushered him into our bedroom.

According to Rocket, I wasn’t allowed to spend the night with my groom, so I had to have a little sleepover with her instead. She was so excited that she made her bed and decorated it with pillows from thrift shops. I ruffled her blonde hair as I got into bed next to her.

“Is this the part where we tell scary stories?” She asked as I was about to close my eyes.

“Loser.” I whispered.

“I saw the Slenderman last night. He has red hair and swears like a sailor.” She whispered back and burst into giggles.

“Rocket!” I playfully pushed her. “If only Poison heard you.”

“But seriously got any urban legends?” She asked.

“No. I’ve heard them all.” I responded.

“How about the guy with the hook for the hand?”

“Yep.”

“Damn.” She muttered. “How about Humans Can Lick Too?”

“Eeeew that one is nasty.” I shook my head.

Rocket suddenly gasped. “I know! What about the one about that bride!?”

“What bride?” I just wanted to get some sleep.

“This bride decides to play hide and seek at her wedding. She hides in an attic trunk where she assumes no one will find her. Well no one does find her when the trunk closes and locks on her. She is found years later still in the trunk.” Rocket smiles.

“Sick.” I whispered sleepily.

She was still talking when I dozed off into a deep sleep.


	13. Wedding Day

I was woken up by the smell of yummy food wafting through the motel. Rocket was up getting my dress ready. She had a large grin on her face. I knew she was just excited as me. She was setting out her makeup and hair supplies, rearranging them. I sat up, ready to take a shower. I washed my hair thoroughly and shaved my body hair. I wanted to be a blank canvas.

Rocket dried my hair, tugging at the long locks. She braided several strands of hair and wound them up on top of my head. She placed feathers and flowers into my hair carefully. She applied my makeup slowly, making sure everything was perfect. Rocket went for a more natural look with a smoky brown eyeshadow and a light eyeliner. Foundation was smeared on my face and blended out to look natural.

“It took forever to find your shade. You’re, like, an olive color. Tan, but...olive.” She said as she brushed powder on my face.

After my makeup was done, I was able to choose from several different perfumes and had my nails done. I stared at my dress in the corner, waiting for me to slip into it. The smell of food had my stomach growling.

“Here, hold out your arms.” Rocket took a huge pink puff and puffed my arms.

She also went at my collarbones. I realized she had covered me in glitter. The glitter clouded in the air around us. I was going to look like Edward Cullen, the teen vampire or a Victoria’s Secret angel. I felt like a glittery faerie in pjs. Girls I had never seen before came in the room to look at me. Some of them cried even though they had never seen me before. It felt like I was getting too much attention although I was in fact the bride.

I imagined what Ghoul could be doing in the other room. Was he going through the same thing as me? I hoped they weren’t powdering him with glitter too. I wondered what his tux looked like and smiled to myself. I wondered how they would make him style his hair. Maybe it would be slicked back or maybe it would be like it usually was. I knew that either way he would be a handsome fellow.

I slipped into the wedding dress and Rocket did her makeup. She pulled on the orange bridesmaid dress we had agreed on. I realized I was getting jittery and nervous. I imagined all of the faces watching me as I walked down the aisle. I looked over at Rocket who was crying and trying to keep her makeup from running down her face.

“Why are you crying?” I asked her.

“You’re so beautiful.” She patted her eyes with a tissue.

“Oh, don’t be silly.” I rubbed her shoulder.

A girl named L peeked her head into Rocket’s room. “Are you ready?”

“Y-yes.” I stammered and wiped my sweaty hands on my dress.

I took my flowers up in my arms and walked down the hall with the other girls, waiting my turn to walk down the aisle. An instrumental rendition of When You Were Young by The Killers played softly. Like I saw in my vision, everyone turned around in their seats to watch me. I took slow steps down the aisle, looking around at the decor. An archway covered in flowers stood at the end of my path along with Rocket and the guys. Rocket was a blubbering mess. Jet looked like he was about to join her. I looked at my future husband.

Ghoul had a big grin on his face. He looked over at Poison and mouthed, “That’s my wife!”. I could feel my eyes blurring with tears. His hair was cut shorter than I remembered. He wore the traditional black tux with an orange tie to match Rocket’s dress like the other men. He also had converse like me. I stood beside him and he took his hands in mine.

He bent down to whisper in my ear. “You are so beautiful.”

Dr. D sat in his wheelchair with a few papers in his hands to read off of as he married us. I looked in his eyes as I said the words, “I Do.” and felt him squeeze my hands in return. When it was time for him to kiss me, he lifted my veil and pressed his lips softly to mine. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately in return, surprising him. I could hear Rocket screaming with the crowd, jumping up and down in her heels. There were flower petals being tossed at me, which I assumed was also Rocket’s doing.

We walked down the aisle hand in hand, waving at everyone. Before I could say a word to Ghoul, Rocket was pulling me away to talk to me.

“That was amazing! Are you ready for the first dance with your husband?” She grinned at me.

“I can’t believe this is actually happening to me. Like, I’m someone’s wife now.” I laughed.

“Indeed you are. Go to the ballroom to snog your groom and dance.” She smiled at me and playfully pushed me along.

I danced to an old slow song with Ghoul for our first dance. In that moment I felt like it was just us.

“I hope you won’t be too tired tonight.” He winked at me.

I giggled. “Where are we going?”

“Surprise.” He smirked.

I got dressed in a short, tight orange dress for the rest of the night. I went barefoot to make dancing easier. Just as we were about to cut the cake, Ghoul requested a song to Dr. D.

“Ghoul requested this song for his bride. It was the song they danced to when they just met. This is When You Were Young by The Killers.”

I started to cry again, remembering the old times. I danced with him like we had when we were younger. We laughed and danced, remembering what brought us together. I loved him. I always would.

We stuffed our faces full of cake before dancing a few times and throwing the bouquet. Rocket caught it and freaked out. She looked over at Kobra and winked. Kobra’s eyes went wide. Rocket was clearly more excited than he was. I laughed at them both before giving Ghoul a big kiss. The wedding was going smoothly. We had boys outside watching for Dracs and so far we had no problems. That was what I was most worried about even as I ate the yummy pulled pork pulling me into paradise.

Rocket told me that it was time to go, but I didn’t know if I was ready yet to leave all of the people I had made friends with. I said my goodbyes, saving the gifts for when we came back. Suddenly, Ghoul stood on a chair, clinking a glass of champagne.

“Before we leave I have something to say. I want to thank everyone for being here tonight but most of all I want to thank Rocket for helping us set up everything.”

I patted Rocket on the back and she blushed.

“I wanted to say something else. Phoenix, this is for you. She is the most beautiful girl in the whole world. Ever since I helped her that day in the desert, I knew she was special. Before I met her, I was depressed. I didn’t see a point to life. But as we grew closer, my world went from a bleak grey to a place with dazzling colors and bright skies. I fell in love with the way she smiled and laughed. Her determination and courage astounded me. It still does. She is so strong and so bright. I’m so lucky to have her. I love her so much.”

Rocket and I both lost it. I walked over to where he stood and reached up to take his hand, tears streaming down my cheeks. We were finally together.


	14. Road Trip

The only thing Rocket told me about the drive was that it was exactly 7 hours. It made me worried. We had packed enough gas, but I was going to be 7 hours away from the place I called home. According to Poison, there were arrangements made with Killjoys who lived out there beyond our Zones and Ghoul knew his way around. They were apparently also more civilized and lived more in towns. We were taking the truck due to the fact that it would be much easier to drive around the roads. On the back Rocket had put a sign that said Just Married. It made me giggle. Everyone we drove past would know.

We waved as we drove away down the dusty road. Rocket and the others disappeared in the rear view mirrors. Ghoul put his hand on my thigh and grinned at me.

"Have you guessed where we are going yet, Mrs. Iero?" He asked.

I smiled and shook my head. "Maybe somewhere up north?"

He laughed. "Good try."

I slipped my fingers in between his and thought about where we could be going. He tightened his grip. I remembered earlier how he talked about being tired. I knew I would probably pass out on our journey there. We would be there by five in the morning. Ghoul was crazy to drive that far. But I knew it would be one of our best journeys.

Like I thought I would, I passed out. When I woke up, the sky was turning colors. The sun was about to come up over red rocks in the distance.

"It might take longer than expected. Sorry, baby. I had to take a nap." Ghoul chuckled.

When I realized where we were I gasped.

"Are you joking?! You are so crazy!"

I could see the hole in the ground from miles away. The sun coming up turned the rocks shades of purple and red. I stared at the beautiful sight. It was picture perfect. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Ghoul pointing at a group of buildings. It looked like a small ghost town. I was intrigued by how they survived out in the desert...but then again…

The town came closer and closer into view. The buildings were brick but it looked like they had air conditioning and a place where they mined oil. It was cool how they survived off of their natural resources and made their own things. Getting closer I saw it wasn't just a few buildings, but almost a good sized town. I was jealous. I knew of no towns in our desert.

Driving through the streets, I saw young kids playing with a soccer ball. They were wearing normal clothing and looked healthy. Their parents waved to Ghoul and I as we passed. They seemed nice enough.

We stopped in front of a nice building marked as a hotel. It was a few stories high.

"Home away from home." Ghoul said as he took the keys out of the ignition.

I followed him out into the heat as he took our bags out of the car.

“I ran away here for awhile a few months before I met you. I was confused about life and wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. So I came here and found peace. We are checking into the room I stayed in when I told them where I had run away from.” He explained.

We carried our bags into the building. It smelled of freshly baked cookies and cake. My stomach growled.

“Hungry?” Ghoul asked and chuckled.

“Was my stomach really that loud?” I asked him.

“No, I was just thinking about how it smells amazing in here.” He smiled.

A tall lady with long, blonde hair greeted us.

“Nice to see you again, Ghoul. Good to meet you, Phoenix.”

She shook my hand. She had long, manicured fingernails that clicked together as she handed some papers to Ghoul. I stretched my legs that still felt like jelly from the car ride as we walked up a few flights of stairs. It felt good to walk again after the time I spent sleeping.

Our room was spacious and beautiful. There was a large window showing off the view of the Grand Canyon. The bed was big enough for three people and looked comfy. There was a door on the other side of the room that I assumed was the bathroom. There were cookies sitting on the dresser top including a note congratulating Ghoul and I. I took a bite, noticing how they were warm and chocolatey. I savored the taste of the warm cookie and poured myself some bubbly, pink champagne.

I sat on the bed and kicked off my shoes. Ghoul took off his jeans and collapsed on the bed beside me.

“I need some z’s.” He whispered with his eyes closed.

I stroked his hair until he fell asleep and cuddled up next to him to get some sleep too.

Ghoul who never slept got some sleep. That meant something good.

I woke up to the sound of Ghoul shutting our hotel door with his foot. He was bringing two trays of hot food towards the bed. The smell made my mouth water. It was pieces of chicken, white meat and a whole ton of mash potatoes. I sat up against the comfy pillows and devoured the meal.

“It’s all homemade. Even the chickens come from here.” Ghoul said after chewing a mouth full of food.

“No way. This is awesome.” I put my empty tray in front of me.

After that, we unpacked our clothes, putting them away in the dresser. Ghoul collected our trays and brought them downstairs. While unpacking, I noticed new sets of lingerie sitting under my regular clothes. I rolled my eyes at the thought of Rocket packing them with a smile on her face. She had also packed my pills, thankfully. That was what I was most worried about. But along with them in our toiltrees Ghoul had a box of condoms with a note from Poison.

_Don’t be silly, protect your Willie._

_Love,_

_Poison xoxoxoxxxxxoooo_

_P.s. Have a good time._

I laughed so hard that there were tears in my eyes. I could imagine him writing the letter and laughing to himself as he did so. I showed Ghoul and we laughed together until we were out of breath. If this is what being married was like, I was totally into it.


	15. Truth or Dare

"I think we should know embarrassing stuff about each other now that we are married." Ghoul told me.

I nodded. "I have some pretty weird stuff you should know about me."

Ghoul sighed. "I'll start. I shave because my own body hair grosses me out."

"I have to brush my teeth with my left hand." I tried to think of something weirder but Ghoul interrupted me.

"I still quickly tuck myself in because of the whole monsters thing when I turn out the lights."

I giggled. "Me too! I also say Wed-nes-day to remind myself how to spell the day."

We were laughing at our flaws and it felt cute.

The sun had started to set, so we watched it together while holding hands. I put my head on his shoulder. We decided together that we should pull an all nighter and become nocturnal. I dressed in only my underwear and shirt, and he did the same. We started off by throwing pillows at each other like footballs.

"Your boxers are cute." I commented.

"Thanks." He replied. "Your choice of panties is splendid."

"EW! I hate that word." I yelled at him and threw a pillow at his face.

"Panties? Panties. Panties." He mocked me in a female voice.

"Stop or I'll choke you with my dick. I'm king of this bed." I stood up on the bed to show my dominance.

"What dick?" He asked and laughed.

I flashed him my shaved abdomen. "This one, loser."

Ghoul pulled me back down on the bed with him, smothering me in kisses.

"Truth or dare?" He asked.

"Mmmm...truth." It was always a go-to.

He tapped his finger against his chin before speaking. "Have you ever watched porn?"

"Ew no. Why? Have you?" I answered.

"I'm a guy of course I have." He laughed.

"Ghoul you dirty birdy. Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"What is your sexuality?" I asked curiously.

"Bi." He looked away as he said it.

"Aw! That's so awesome. I don't really have a sexuality. I think if I like someone, I like them. I happen to like you." I smiled.

When one of us finally picked dare, Ghoul dared me to show off my lingerie that Rocket picked out.

"YAS! HIGH FASHION!" He yelled after each one and I tried not to laugh.

"Which one is your favorite?" I asked.

"The one you have on now." He put his arms behind his head.

I decided to do a little strip tease. He whistled as I took off my bra and threw it to the side.

"I need a volunteer from the audience to take off my under- err panties off for me." I said in a seductive voice.

"Me! Me!" Ghoul waved a hand in the air.

"There are so many handsome men to choose from, but I'll have to pick this man over here." I pointed at Ghoul.

I got up on the bed and he slipped off my underwear slowly.

"Fuck." He muttered.

I tangled my fingers in his hair and kissed him passionately. I was so happy to be here with him. My heart fluttered in my chest as we fell on the bed together, having the best time of our lives. We rolled around in the sheets, hands running over each other's skin. I was breathless and in love.

Early morning came and we were tangled in the sheets, kissing softly. We held each other close in the warm blankets. I knew I should sleep, but I couldn't. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. He meant the world to me.

He suggested we get some breakfast and take a walk along the edge of the canyon. I agreed with him and got dressed. Ghoul went downstairs to get us our breakfast and I jumped back into bed to stay warm. We sat on the bed and ate a breakfast of pancakes and bacon. It was the best food I had in a long time. It filled me and made me feel better than the stuff we had at home. The pancakes were light and fluffy. The bacon was the right kind of crispy. The taste lingered on my taste buds. I wanted to eat more, but I knew I shouldn't stuff myself.

Slipping on shoes, we went outside. The air was warm and dry. It thankfully wasn't as hot as back home. We sat by the edge of the canyon, staring out at the rocks. We held hands and talked about what we would do when we got back home.

He smiled. "I think we will start cleaning upstairs. I want to stay away from the Dracs as usual and maybe get some dogs."

I smiled with him at the thought of improving our home life.

"I never wanted to do anything until I met you. You made me want to make a better life for myself." He said.

I tightened my grip on his fingers in a loving way and watched the sun shine over the red rocks. I thought about all of the pain I had gone through before this. I thought about my mom's boyfriend and what he had done to me. I thought about the loneliness and feeling like I had nowhere to go. After all of it, I finally had reached heaven on Earth.


	16. Home Bound

Late that night when I was fast asleep, there was a frantic knocking on our bedroom door. Ghoul was up and ready to answer the door. The lady from earlier with blonde hair burst through the door. She looked scared.

“I just got a message from Dr. D. Your hideout is being raided.”

I was up getting dressed in that moment. There were tears in my eyes and I was about to scream from anxiety. I was shaking from how scared I was. I didn’t even care about the motel. I just cared about the people in it. I packed up our stuff as fast as I could but Ghoul stopped me.

“No time. You stay here.”

“No! I won’t stay here! Are you joking? We are in this together. That’s why we’re married.” I was begging but he ran out the door without me.

I followed suit, running towards the car as he jumped in.

“Phoenix so help me God if you follow me I will push you out of the car.”

I could feel the other lady’s presence behind me. She had her hand on my shoulder.

“Ghoul don’t you remember when you pushed me out of the HQ? We are in this together!” I screamed.

He looked down at the steering wheel, thinking. “Phoenix, I can’t do this right now.”

“If you leave, you are breaking my heart.” I sobbed.

“It’s a chance I have to take.” He said before leaving me in the dust.

The lady pulled me towards the hotel, making sure I got inside.

“Call me L.” She whispered when I went to address her. “Short for Lyn-Z. I was at your wedding for a little while.”

She stroked my hair and had me sit down in a chair. I was so shocked I wasn’t sure what to say to her. I felt dead inside and betrayed.

“I need some rest.” I whispered as an excuse and got up to head to my room. “I’m sorry.”

Just as I was about to leave, I heard a beeping of the radio system. L quickly went over to the radio to answer it. I just stood there with a hollow expression on my face as I waited to hear any news.

“Phoenix, it’s for you.” She said quietly.

I took the receiver out of her hand.

“This is Phoenix.”

I waited and waited before finally getting an answer, hoping it was Ghoul. “This is Rocket. Phoenix, I’m so scared.”

“Rocket? Where are you?” I waited for her response.

“I’m hiding in the bomb shelter. I’m so scared. There are Dracs outside.” She responded.

“Rocket, Ghoul is coming.” I told her.

And then our signal broke up.


	17. Safe and Sound

** Rocket POV **

I had just hung up on Phoenix after hearing the sound of someone intruding the bomb shelter. I was ducking behind some supply boxes. I hoped I could possibly sneak my way out… But I had to see who -- or what -- I was up against.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly peered my head over the edge of one of the boxes. Two Dracs wander inside. I think I could handle this. Then I’d have to find the other Killjoys; I didn’t know where they were hiding since I bolted towards the radio to tell Phoenix about the attack.

I carefully crouched down beneath the boxes, out of sight from the Dracs. I kept a slow, steady pace, making sure to keep quiet. I was almost near the door when I saw the shadow of one looming behind me. I whipped my head around in time to see his arms grab me.

“Let go of me!” I screamed, struggling to break free of his grip. However, it was no use.

They both dragged me outside, pushing me down on the ground as I landed hard on my arm. I heard footsteps running toward me as I saw Kobra crouch next to me, holding me in his arms.

“Rocket!” he cried, pulling me close. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I reassured him, fighting off the soreness in my arm. I glanced up and saw the other Killjoys, all being held at gunpoint by two Dracs. The Killjoys looked down at me, relieved to see I was okay. Kobra helped me up to my feet as I noticed more Dracs heading into the motel.

“What are they doing?” I asked worriedly.

“Trying to find our weapons,” Jet Star answered.

“Too bad they’ll be coming out empty handed,” Poison added, venom in his voice.

The Dracs kept us all in a group at gunpoint while they were looking through all our stuff. The thought of Dracs in my room made me extremely angry. I did not want them trashing my room, or taking anything. Especially my photos.

We sat in the small circle together. None of us talking; but the silence was enough to know that we were all worried.

In the distance, a puff of smoke came barreling down the desert road. The Dracs looked over, lowering their guns. None of us made a move on them yet; we had to see what was going on before we tried to take them down.

I looked over at Poison. His confused face soon turned into a smile.

“It’s Ghoul!” He cheered. Then the color drained from his face. “Oh God, it’s Ghoul. He better not do anything stupid.”

The Dracs that were holding us captive now had their guns drawn towards the truck, ready to fire. Without a second thought, I lunged towards one of them, knocking the ray gun out of his hands. He struck back with a punch to my face, knocking me off him. Next to me, I noticed Jet Star taking down the second one.

Ghoul came to a stop in front of us, bolting out of the truck.

“Are you guys okay?” He asked worriedly.

“We’re fine,” Poison answered, pointing towards the motel. “They’ve invaded.”

Ghoul turned his head towards the motel.

“We have to stop them!” He shouted.

I nodded my head. The five of us grabbed the weapons that the Dracs had taken and ran towards the motel.

“How many did you see go in there?” I asked to anyone.

“A few,” Kobra answered. “Nothing we can’t handle.”

We all drew our guns, ruthlessly shooting Drac after drac. The others fought off the Dracs in the main room, but I wanted to check mine. I ran as fast as I could, seeing the door was open. I pointed my gun inside, seeing a Drac holding some of the bracelets I made out of beads. I noticed one of them was one I was making for Phoenix; a bright orange one with red hearts. He threw them to the ground, stepping on them as he stepped towards me.

“No!” I yelled, shooting him in the chest. He fell to the ground.

I examined the bracelets. I had spent hours making them, and now they lay in pieces on the floor. Maybe it would seem stupid to the others, but I spent a lot of time making them. Especially Phoenix’s.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a loud yell in the kitchen. It sounded like Ghoul.

I sprinted towards the yelling, which didn’t stop. That’s when I saw Ghoul, blood rushing down his arm, sitting on the floor. He had been shot by the last Drac. I’m glad they were all gone and were not able to deliver any info to their HQ, but now Ghoul was hurt. I walked over to him, examining the wound in his arm. It was pretty bad. I took off my long sleeve and put it over his wound, applying pressure. I looked over at Jet.

“Jet, you’re handy with stitching, right?” I asked.

“I haven’t done it in a while,” He answered unsurely. “But I guess I’m going to have to jog my memory. I’ll grab the medkit.”

I looked at Ghoul. “Do you feel like you’re gonna pass out?”

“No,” He hissed through his teeth. “But it fucking stings.”

Poison was pacing up and down the room, running his hands through his hair.

“Ghoul, argh,” He said frustratedly. “I’m so so sorry.”

“Don’t be, Party,” Ghoul responded. “I wanted to come back.”

“Speaking of come back, where’s Phoenix?” I asked as Jet came back. I lifted my shirt and Jet examined the wound himself.

“Uh,” Ghoul answered, his eyes darting around the room. “Would you believe me if I said that she was too panicked to come?”

“Not a fucking chance,” I answered, folding my arms. “What happened?”

Jet looked at me. “He’s gonna have to answer in a minute. I have to start stitching.”

We all held onto Ghoul as the needle passed through his arm over and over again. He was very much in pain. I felt awful hearing his screams. Though through it, I was simmering with anger. No way Phoenix stayed behind on her own. I don’t believe that for a second. While I’m glad she’s safe, Ghoul should be treating her like his partner, not like he owns her; she can make her own damn choices.

After Ghoul had somewhat recovered from the pain, I went to talk to him. I was usually a kind soul, but when people mess with my best friend, no matter who it is, I get angry.

“Ghoul,” I stated sternly. “What happened.”

He scratched the back of his head. “I left her behind.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to see her get hurt.”

“Did she want to come?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you should’ve taken her,” I answered. “End of discussion.”

“I was trying to protect her!” He snapped at me.

“You do not own her.” I said. “She is her own person; you can’t go around babying her because you think you know what’s best. She’s been through worse than this and you and I both know that.”

“I know I don’t own her, I know!” He raised his voice. “But I thought I would be doing the right thing keeping her safe.”

“What gave you the fucking idea that’d she would appreciate you taking her own needs and leaving her in the dust!?” I yelled back, finally losing my temper. “I can’t believe you! Phoenix loves you, she loves me, she loves all of us! So what if it were you in her fucking shoes right now, being stranded in a place you barely know while thinking your friends and newlywed husband could possibly be DEAD?! Christ Ghoul, don’t do that to her! She can make her own choices and you took the vow not to think you know everything, but to support and help those choices!”

I panted, my face glowing red. Ghoul just stared at me, surprised. No one has really heard me yell before.

“Listen,” He said. “I’m sorry, alright? I really am.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” I said quietly.


	18. Everyone Thinks That We are Perfect

**PHOENIX POV**

I laid on our bed and stared up at the ceiling. Things were so perfect before. What had happened? We had broken apart. By the way Ghoul was driving, he would have probably made it to the motel by now. It was four hours later, and my heart was definitely broken. I felt like he couldn’t trust me. Was I that weak?

I felt salty tears leak down my swollen cheeks. I rubbed them away with the blankets and closed my eyes. I hoped that I would eventually be able to sleep. I wanted this nightmare to go away. I wanted Ghoul and I to be okay again. He was so important to me.

There was a soft knock on the door. It was L, coming to talk to me.

“Hey, there’s someone on the radio for you. I think you should talk to them.” She said quietly.

I got up out of bed, heading down the stairs to go see who wanted me now. I hoped it was Rocket confirming that she was okay and Ghoul had made it.

“Hello?” I said into the receiver.

“Phoenix.”

It was Ghoul.

“I thought we were together.” I sobbed.

“We are, Phoenix. I just couldn’t see you get hurt.” He responded.

“Are you implying that I’m too weak?” I was angry.

“No! Never. You aren’t weak. You are so strong. But if this was bad, I couldn’t let you go. I needed you to be safe.”

I didn’t know if I could believe him. I wanted to so badly, but he had hurt me.

“Ghoul, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m so hurt that I don’t know if I can even begin to explain how I feel.” I bit my lip to keep from crying.

It was a few moments before he responded. “I’m so sorry. Everyone’s okay here. I’m coming back. I love you.”

I didn’t answer. I just smiled sadly at L before going back up to my room and pulling the blankets around myself. I closed my eyes and didn’t allow any more tears to fall.

When I woke up, Ghoul was there beside me. He was stroking my hair. I pulled away from him. He seemed surprised but I was not.

“Phoenix.” He said quietly.

“You’re…” I tried to think of a bad enough word without swearing. “You’re a jerk.”

“I know.” He replied. “And I’m sorry. I knew you needed to hear it in person. I did a shitty thing.”

I shook my head. “A shitty thing? It was more than that.”

“I didn’t want to lose you.” He reached out towards me and I didn’t move. “You’re my wife. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I whispered, wiping my swollen eyes.

“Rocket yelled at me.” He looked down at his hands and he picked at his fingernails.

“Rocket yelled?” I was shocked.

“Yeah. I didn’t know she could raise her voice.” Ghoul smiled to himself.

I wanted to take his hands in mine and make things okay. But I wasn’t sure if it was okay to forgive him yet. But I knew if I didn’t now, I might never do it. I took his face in my hands and kissed him softly. Again he was surprised by my actions. We would find our peace here. It was then that I noticed his arm. It was covered with a bandage and looked red and burned.

“What happened?” I asked him, carefully touching the bandage.

“I was shot. It hurt pretty bad but I’m alright.”

Ghoul took me in his arms and held me. I put my head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Whatever the aftermath was, it would have to be secondary tonight. I knew Ghoul was still in pain from the shot by the way he held me. I pulled him down onto the bed with me and we laid together, me falling asleep. He stayed awake until dawn.

When I woke up in the morning, Ghoul was gone from bed. I got dressed after taking a shower and went downstairs to find out what had happened to him. L was rubbing a cream on his burn.

“For relief.” She explained.

“How does it feel?” I asked him.

“Much better.”

He looked down at his stitched wound as L replaced his bandages with new ones. I was thankful that she was around to help us. I noticed that as she pushed her hair behind her ears that her roots were a dark brown. She smiled at us both before going to make breakfast.

“I need to make it up to you.” Ghoul said to me.

“For what?” I asked.

“For being an ass.” He replied. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

I thought for a long time. “You have to do whatever I say for the rest of our lives.”

He groaned. “That long?”

“And even after I die.” I crossed my arms.

“What do I do first?” He asked, getting up from where he was sitting.

“Well…” I put on an evil smile.


	19. Gone

Ghoul and I were on our way home. We had spent about a week by the Grand Canyon and checked in on everyone back home every day through the radio. We held hands all the way home. I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I couldn't imagine anything going wrong.

As soon as we had gone home and unpacked, Poison knocked on the door to our room and asked to speak to Ghoul alone. Ghoul left the room, smiling at me. I continued to organize our room and our laundry, thinking nothing of Poison and Ghoul until Ghoul came back in the room. He shut the door quietly, glancing over at me. I turned to him and smiled, walking over to put my arms around him.

"Phoenix, we have to talk." He said.

I pulled away from him. "Sure. What's up?"

I sat down on our bed and he sat next to me. "I knew this was going to happen eventually. But I have to go into Zone 1 for a few weeks to help steal from BLI. Sounds funny, but it's risky. That's why we work stealthily together. We have to survive out here somehow, so we steal their unprocessed goods. They still haven't caught us. All I know is that it's keeping us from starving."

I listened curiously as he explained what he meant. "I have to go to Zone 1 and protect our borders while they cross over through a weak point in the fence by their facilities."

"I don't know how long I'll be gone exactly. I just know it's a couple of weeks. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you sooner."

"I can't come with you?" I asked.

"No. I'm sorry. We can stay connected through radio at night, though." He put an arm around me and I buried my face in his chest.

"And I can't visit?" I asked

"No."

I helped him pack while holding back tears. We did everything in silence. I knew I had to be strong for him but those tears still lingered, begging to be shed. I couldn't believe he was leaving me again. I didn't know how long he would have to stay. He would be missing Christmas and New Years which would be the first time we actually celebrated it together.

I hugged him once his bags were packed and began to cry.

"Hey." He whispered. "I'll be back. I will be okay. It's only a few weeks and it's not like I'm going to be going into the city."

We got into bed with him and held on to him. Ghoul stroked my hair softly. I didn't want him to leave me. My heart ached at the thought of him being in danger. I had already lost him before. If I lost him again I might not survive. I was trying to cope with the situation but I wasn't sure how. I had gotten to this point before and I didn't want to be there again. I wanted to go back to my old ways and it was itching at the inside of my skull. I held on tighter to Ghoul, not wanting the feeling to take over me. I was stronger.

The next morning Ghoul woke me up for when he had to leave. The sun was just coming up. I followed him outside into the morning light, the sun warming my skin. There was a car waiting for him. The driver looked impatient. I gave Ghoul a kiss and a hug. As he started to walk towards the car I ran back towards him, not ready for him to leave. We embraced and kissed again. I began to cry into his shoulder and Poison pulled me away from him. I shouted my love for him and he grinned as he got in the car.

"I love you too, beautiful!" He yelled back.

I waved to him as he left. As they drove away, my tears blurred the line between the sand and the sky. I could tell he was still watching me as he left. My insides burned. I wasn't ready to watch him go. I felt my legs moving towards the bathroom where I shut myself in. I sat on the floor and put my head against the door. I sat there for what felt like hours. I knew Ghoul wouldn't want to see me this way and for him I tried to suck it up. I got up from the floor and went to lay in bed where I could get some sleep. On the pillow at a piece of folded paper with my name on it. I unfolded it and read it.

_Phoenix -_

_I love you so much. I will talk to you every night and I will miss you every day that I'm gone. You are stronger than you know. I'll see you soon._

_Forever and ever,_

_Ghoul_

I felt tears slipping down my cheeks. Was I being a wimp? Maybe a little bit. I missed him already. But before I knew it, I was being called into the weapons room to talk to him over the radio. I was a blubbering mess and I wasn't sure he could understand me as I told him how I felt and how my day was. I told him how I had mostly laid in bed to stay warm and comfortable. I knew I had chores to do but I felt too emotional to do them.

"I understand." He told me. "I've been missing you. I have to sleep in the back of a van and it's by someone who has admitted he snores pretty loudly. I don't know how much sleep I'm going to get tonight. The food is decent at least. I don't have to fight, though. I'm just sitting in front of hacked cameras all day. It's easy work and gets boring fast. I wish I was home with you."

I wished I was there to hug him. He was quiet and mostly listened to me ramble on. I wasn't really sure what to say to him. I missed him even though I had said it a thousand times.

"I have to go soon for our lights out. I'll see you soon. I love you."

Before I could finish my sentence he was gone. 

 


	20. Desert Princess

The nights grew longer and I became dazed and confused. I didn’t buy anything for the others for Christmas yet. I knew I had to get going knowing I only had a few days.

I decided to take a trip out with Rocket so we could get a feeling for what we both wanted. Rocket was interested in things like makeup and clothes. I didn’t know what I wanted. I picked out antiques and some pieces of clothing that seemed to fit me. I chose an interesting knife set for Kobra and a new pocket knife for Poison. I was clueless when it came to Jet but settled on some gun attachments. Thinking of Ghoul made me sad. I wanted to buy the world for him for protecting the Zones even though he might not even be home in time for Christmas.

I spent the rest of my spending money buying knick knacks for Ghoul. I saw him in every pretty glass and shell. He was in the necklaces containing branches in tubes and in the very edges of the shiny blades for sale. I knew it wasn’t fair for me to buy so much for him and so much less for everyone else. But Ghoul was special.

When I was finally done, Rocket made me go with her to get her hair done. While we were there, she suggested I get feathers in my hair.

“They stay for a long time!” She exclaimed. “You will love them. I’m paying for it.”

Since she insisted, I decided to get the feathers in my hair. The girl at the salon put beads in my hair before sticking in feathers. I watched in the mirror as I sat in the chair. Rocket stood next to me looking excited.

“We should have done this for the wedding!” She clapped her hands, jumping up and down.

I grinned at her. “Do I look like a desert princess?”

“You always have.” She smiled.

The next thing I knew I was talking to Ghoul over the radio while wrapping presents.

“What are you up to? I hear weird noises.” He asked.

“I’m wrapping your presents.” I said and smiled.

“My presents? What am I getting?” He asked.

I laughed. “It’s a secret. You’ll have to open them when you get here.”

He chuckled. “Well, then. Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas.” I replied before letting him go and climbing into bed.

“I miss you.” I whispered to his side of the bed.

There was no response from the cold, made up side. I sighed and pulled the blankets around me. I wished Ghoul was here. I had no idea when he would even come home. Maybe I wouldn’t see him for a long time. It made me worried.

The night was long and cold. I made a cocoon with my blankets to keep in heat. I secretly wished it would snow to make it a real Christmas but living in the desert made things like that almost impossible. I kept waking up thinking I was back at the Victorian house I used to call home where I might just see snow. But alas I was in the motel bed alone.

That morning I was woken by Rocket. She shook my shoulder hard until I opened my eyes. Her cute face was framed by her newly cut hair. She grinned at me.

"It's Christmas! Santa came!" She exclaimed and laughed. "He stayed to watch you open your presents."

I shook my head and giggled. I rubbed my eyes and put on some of Ghoul's pj pants. Rocket was already in the living room giggling her ass off so I figured she had bought something outrageous for me. I sighed as I walked into the living room. A rather silly looking santa sat in the old worn armchair in the corner.

"Ho ho ho!" He yelled and took off his hat and beard.

It was Ghoul in a santa costume. I immediately ran over to him and jumped in his lap, kissing his face.

"I can't believe you are here!" I exclaimed.

I blushed as the others walked in. They were all as surprised as I was. I figured Rocket was behind it knowing that she was usually up to shenanigans. Her face lit up when she saw me enter the room in the first place. I gave her a big smile.

I stayed in Ghoul's lap as I watched everyone open their presents. Everyone loved the gifts I bought them. Ghoul smiled with every gift he opened from me and gave me a kiss. I was having the best day. I had my husband at my side and my friends around me. But before I knew it my world would change once again.

 


	21. The Mighty Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final book is Gods and Monsters  
> This is the video for it: https://youtu.be/uu_OzK5ZLzM

Everyone in the city ran into the streets on New Years to celebrate. Even the S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W took the day off to hoist their children up on their shoulders to watch the countdown. The world exploded with black and white confetti. We saw it from the screens Dr. D had set up on the city. It was one of the safest days of the whole year to journey through the Zones to see your friends. Cola was even there with us despite Poison shooting him. We laughed together as if nothing had happened.

I noticed how Kobra and Rocket were closer than ever. They held hands and cuddled on Dr. D’s couch. Rocket made Kobra change into a different person. I noticed how he laughed and smiled more around her. They had a cute relationship. I had to admit it.

I sat down on the couch next to the cuddling bunch and Ghoul handed me a drink. I still hated the taste of beer but I had to have one because it was New Years.

On the fuzzy screens before us were cheering people. There was only 10 seconds left until the new year. Dr. D adjusted the antenna, trying to get our signal to come in better. I gripped Ghoul’s arm excitedly. 5,4,3,2,1. More confetti shot out across the streets. The excited people jumped up and down. Suddenly, the ground shook. The people in the city looked as confused as us. The camera suddenly cut out.

“Weird.” Dr. D muttered and moved the antenna around.

There was no signal to be found. We were all wondering what could have happened until someone called in on Dr. D's radio to inform us that a bomb had gone off in the main square. It was probably just rogue Killjoys.

"We should stay here where it's safe." Rocket said.

We all agreed with her. It wouldn't be good to go to the city and try to stop the violence. Last time was a big mistake. So instead we headed home and told Dr. D to alert us if anything else happened.

Laying in bed that night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about what had happened. I snuggled up to Ghoul for warmth and he put his arms around me.

“Ghoul?” I whispered with my eyes closed.

“Yeah?” He whispered back

“Do you think all of those people are okay?” I asked, my head on his chest.

I felt him shrug. “I assume so. BLI will have found a way to control everything. I’m not worried.”

“But there were kids there. I hope none of them were hurt.”

He didn’t say anything back so I assumed he was sleeping. I never got to sleep.

Early in the morning Poison woke us up. He suggested that we investigate the aftermath of the bomb. I was ready but nervous as to what we would find.

The drive there was filled with music and singing along. I laughed and sang with them, trying to rid of the nervousness inside.

As we pulled up to the fence, a figure stood in the dark shadows where the bomb had gone off. I figured it was a Drac watching the fence. When Poison got out of the car and slammed the door, the figure turned around. It wasn’t a Drac. It looked more like a monster. It’s face was scarred beyond recognition. Half of it’s head was shaved. It sent a shiver up my spine. Whatever it was seemed to recognize us. It sneered.

“Remember your old friend, Poison? Neon?”

_Phoenix and Ghoul will return in the next novel._

 


End file.
